Every child begins the world again.

Four Month Well Baby Check-up

2009-08-10T12:31:00.001-07:00

Dr. Nasser declared Eleanor "perfect" today. He said she's growing well and that her alertness and responsiveness and muscle tone are exactly what he looks for in babies her age. He told us we're doing everything right and was just tickled at Eleanor's playfulness and reactions to other people and to her environment. She weighed 14 pounds, 8 ounces today and was 26.5 inches long. On the weight chart, that puts her right at about the 75th percentile, following the gentle curve nicely. However, that puts her off the chart in height. Rather than following the height chart nicely, the line tracking her growth jumps up sharply from where it was last month, leaving her somewhere around the 99th percentile. I felt validated after seeing that; I've been worried that I'm advancing her to the next size clothes too soon - that I'm doing something wrong, shrinking things in the wash, perhaps. No, no. She really is the size of a six-month-old baby. I wonder when she'll slow down, since it's just not in her genes to be a WNBA star.

New Things

2009-08-05T10:08:00.000-07:00

We've been putting Eleanor in her little Bumbo seat regularly. She really seems to like being able to look around at things. Yesterday I pulled out her jumper and put her in it. She got a kick out of being the same height as the dogs. She was playing a little "game" of turning around on accident, and therefore "losing" me. When she figured out how to get turned back around she thought it was the greatest thing ever, like I'd somehow played a little trick on her. I've also been sharing water out of my cup with her. She makes a total mess, but thinks it's great fun to drink out of Mommy's cup. She gets frustrated with me sometimes when I won't share - like when I'm drinking juice or milk. Evidently, she still doesn't understand the difference and why she's too young for other things. I've also been giving her water in a bottle lately to help her get used to the bottle idea so that it's not so tough when I go back to work in three weeks. Hopefully, this works.

One at a time

2009-07-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

Lately, Eleanor has been trying to suck her thumb. While nursing. It doesn't work out in her favor, though, because while she's nursing it's difficult to get her thumb in her mouth and what little she is able to get her thumb in, it just breaks the suction seal she has around my nipple, making it so she doesn't get anything when she sucks except for air. So, being an attentive mother, I pull her hand out of the way and reposition her latch. She's resilient, though. She gets that thumb right back up to her mouth ready to stick it in. A few times, I've allowed her to have her thumb instead, but then she gets upset with me for taking away her lunch. But she never gets upset when I take away her thumb, so I assume she wants to eat more than she wants just to suck. Also, she only brings up her left arm to do this; she never does it when she's nursing on the other side. Kelly and I are wondering if this could mean she's left-handed. I know all the literature says we have another two years to see for sure which hand she'll be dominant in, but it still makes us wonder. We each have a left-handed brother, so it is possible. I guess we'll just have to wait and see for sure!

Rolling!

2009-07-15T19:25:00.000-07:00

Eleanor rolled over tonight! She went from her tummy to her back over her left shoulder. I think it was an accident, though, because she hasn't done it again, and because she looked surprised when it happened. She has been twisting around a lot lately when I lay her down, looking like she's trying to roll over, but this was the first time anything actually came of it. As soon as she did it, I started clapping and smiling and telling her what a good job she did, but she just laid there looking back like she was trying to figure out why I was so excited.

It's amazing how big such little things can be!

Do you want me to put my fingers in your mouth?

2009-07-15T16:14:00.000-07:00

People seem to have some irrepressible urge that I don't understand to put their hands all over babies' faces - even strangers. Personally, I really dislike having my face touched at any point by anyone, so perhaps this is the stem of some of my frustration on the issue, but I can't even express clearly how disturbing, how disgusting, it is to me when I see dirty or just potentially dirty hands aiming for Eleanor's face when she has plenty of cute chub to tickle on her arms, legs and tummy. Even I wash my hands before picking her up or playing with her and she's my kid. I will say that it bothers me less when people I know do this, but there is still the part of me that cringes, thinking about how little I would like it if their fingers were all over my face instead. But I don't freak out. If it's a real problem, I ask the person to stop or I move away from them. And in the end, *sigh*, she is perfectly washable.

One more gross factor, even worse: peoples' fingers in my baby's mouth. Do you want me to put my fingers in your mouth? Maybe touching El's face won't ensure passage of germs. Maybe that is me instituting a level of personal quirks on my baby. Maybe. But it is never OK in any other circumstance to put your fingers in anyone else's mouth so I don't think someone else's baby should somehow not apply to that rule.

To be honest, the only place on her body I don't cringe at when people touch - and we're talking strangers here, people who I don't know or don't know their personal hygiene habits - is her legs. And of all the people I've introduced her to in the last three months, the only people who have been so cognizant of the germiness of touch have been my teacher friends and one teacher friend's boyfriend - a nurse.

This is one mom's plea to the rest of the world: please be aware that you're messing with biology and instincts, bred into mothers over the last few eons, to keep our babies safe and clean. Yes, babies are cute. Yes, they're fun to play with. But if I doubt for a second that you're clean, I'm not worrying about a little bit of dirt beneath your fingernails, I'm suddenly worried about everything else - scarlet fever, Ebola. You might think it's silly, and perhaps it is a little. No, I don't think I can protect her from everything, but it's one small gesture on your part to show your goodwill in our silent deal: I let you share in the joy of my baby if you come at her clean. Us moms work really hard for a long time to grow healthy and beautiful babies.

Reach out and touch someone

2009-07-07T11:48:00.001-07:00

Eleanor started reaching for things about two weeks ago - just familiar toys, really, and the edges of her clothing - and pulling it toward her face. And her precision with holding on to me or my shirt while she's nursing has improved, too. However, the newest big step in that development is her ability to reach out for faces, mostly mine and Kelly's. It's great fun to see her interacting with us like that!

Mom, what is his problem?

2009-07-02T17:16:00.000-07:00

I had an appointment at the birthing center today that, because she's rarely far from me, I took Eleanor to. Afterwards, I was sitting on the couch in their living room area making El's page in their scrapbook with her sitting on the sofa behind me. There was another couple there with their seven-week-old son, who was unhappy with life ths morning, it seemed. While his mom was getting checked out, his dad was walking around the place with him and stopped to talk to me and Eleanor. When this dad stopped next to the couch to chat, Eleanor, who had been sitting contentedly, playing with her hands and talking animatedly to me, stopped and stared at this crying baby. I looked at her to gauge her reaction to the crying. She looked at me soberly, raised her eyebrows, and turned bck to the baby, eyebrows still in the air until te father-son pair walked on, to which she responded with returning to her hands and chatter. I could almost hear her thinking, though, Oh my goodness, Mom, what is his problem? Doesn't he know how loud he is? What a bother! It totally cracked me up!

Sleeptastic

2009-06-17T11:58:00.000-07:00

Eleanor has been sleeping a lot again. She started off sleeping nearly 24 hours a day, then went through a period of a few weeks where she was awake almost ten hours a day and now she's back to almost continual sleeping again. When she is awake, she's happy and alert, but these days you have to be looking for those golden moments between naps. If she wakes up on her own, or even with one of us right there welcoming her to the day, she wakes up fairly cheerfully - especially if she's waking up from a long period of sleep. But if she wakes up before she feels ready to, she wakes up cranky and ready to nurse herself right into another nap. I guess all this sleeping means she's growing some more.

One cute new development from the last few days to report: Eleanor has started hiding in shyness sometimes when she smiles. It's adorable! She'll turn her face into my chest and cover up with her hands when someone else gets her to smile really big. And sometimes when we're not holding her but get her to smile big, she'll just cover her face with her little hands and peek at us. Oh, and she's started smiling for strangers this last week, too. Her first recognition smile outside of me and Kelly was my mom when she was probably five weeks old and her first smile for a stranger was this Monday at Sears. It's fascinating to watch her own personal evolution!

Last Saturday, we went to a reunion with all the couples from our birthing class. We ate, shared our birthing stories and talked about all the cuteness involved with having babies in the home. While sharing birth stories, we learned that Eleanor was the largest baby from the bunch at birth - something that surprised us because we're not the biggest people. Here's a picture of Eleanor with all her little baby buds.

Also, I've been wanting to get these pictures posted for a while, but the last time I tried the system wouldn't let me. These are from Eleanor's first bike ride in the sweet trailor from Grandpa and Nana.

Abandon the Sheep

2009-06-12T20:47:00.000-07:00

I had to put my favorite baby pajamas away for the long sleep last night. El's sheep pjs are now too short for her. I guess at 24 inches long (and 11 pounds, 8 ounces), it's time to start looking into bigger clothes. I hope our next baby is born a little smaller so s/he can wear those sheep pjs longer because they're darn cute!

Eleanor had her first doctor appointment Monday. Dr. Nasser was excited about her growth and said she's doing very well over all. We asked him about what we thought was a tooth, but he said it's actually just a cyst - evidently it's normal and babies get the on their gums all the time and they're easily confused with early teeth. We were happy to hear that. We know she's growing fast, but we aren't ready for her to be four months ahead of the game with teeth.

At her appointment, she received her first shots, which she handled pretty well. She gave her best mad cry, but was quickly pacified with nursing. I don't think it started hurting until later that evening; then she spent some time crying and whimpering (which made me cry with her) until Daddy came home with some baby Tylenol. The next day she was back to her usual, chipper self.

Oh, and speaking of pjs, I just noticed that the ones she is wearing tonight won't last us much longer either.

Yeah...It's been a while...

2009-06-08T09:20:00.000-07:00

But I plan to do more consistent updates again. The goal is at least one weekly, like I used to when I was still pregnant.

School's out and I'm officially a stay-at-home mom for the next ten weeks or so. Those last two-and-a-half weeks back went quickly, thank goodness, because they were hard! The first day was the worst. I wore black eye liner that day to encourage me to not cry - there's just something in knowing that if you cry that you'll get black smears all over your face to act as a great deterrent. By the end of the two-and-a-half weeks it still wasn't easy, but by then I was so close to the end that it was manageable. Eleanor had excellent care givers each day I had to work who each brought her to me at lunch so I could feed her, but it was still stressful for her, too. By the end, she was refusing bottle feedings until she was too starving to resist and was fighting sleep during the days. I think it will be much better when I return in the fall - she'll be nearly five months then and will have had the whole summer to learn that I will always be there.

We had our last midwife appointment Thursday. El weighed in at 11 pounds, 8 ounces and was 23 1/2 inches long. That puts her in the ninety-seventh percentile for height and the ninetieth percentile for weight. I've already had to put up some of her 0-3 month onesies because they won't snap any more and I've pulled out some of her 3-6 month clothes in their place. She's learning how to hold things better in her hands, can hold her head up on her own pretty well, and will follow me and Kelly walking past her, even if we're on the other side of the room. When Kelly gets home and comes to say hello to her, she turns on the big smiles - she definitely knows who he is and is excited to see him. She can laugh now, too, although her laughs aren't necessarily triggered by anything specific. She is awake and alert for a good portion of the day now. That's some of my favorite time watching her because as she looks around at her surroundings it's obvious that she's thinking hard about something, like she's trying to figure out what things are and how they work. Her gaze is intelligent, almost calculating, and makes me wonder what's going on in her head.

Likes and Dislikes

2009-05-15T12:13:00.000-07:00

Some of E's current likes:
- sleeping
- eating
- cuddling
- the pillar in our living room
- baths
- stroller rides on rough asphalt
- riding in the sling
- kisses
- seeing that food s on its way
- did I mention sleeping?

Some of E's current dislikes:
- wind
- being cold
- getting out of the bath
- when mom gets boogers out of her nose
- having her face washed
- being hungry
- having clothes pulled over her head
- waking up
- needing to poo
- Lucy licking her arms or face
- sleeping alone
- wet diapers

I know, I know...

2009-05-12T16:03:00.000-07:00

Posts here have grown fewer and fewer in the last few weeks, I know. But I really get very little time to just sit and type these days. When Eleanor's awake I like to play with her and when she's sleeping I like to fold laundry or put away clean dishes. The little bit of time I am on line, I don't do much typing - intentionally - because most of my typing these days has to be one-handed and that's just annoying.

But life with a baby is going incredibly well. I love, love, love being her mom and nothing - not the repetitive diaper changes or the midnight feedings - has made me question that (although I think we're going to start potty training soon to end the constant barage of dirty diapers). In fact, I don't know what everyone complains about with the nighttime feedings - those are some of my favorite moments with her! It's a quiet and peaceful time when we can be together, comfy, cozy and warm and a time when I can give her something that no one else in the whole world can give her. I love the way she curls in to me, looking for sustenance and two full arms and the way she's able to find me even in the dark of night because she trusts that I will be there. I find that I enjoy motherhood more than I thought I would and it's little things like that that make me think that.

Brown-Bagging It

2009-04-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

I've found that I'm rather comfortable breastfeeding any time and any place Eleanor decides that she's hungry and in need of another meal, so I've already, in her three short weeks in the outside world, fed her in a number of interesting places. Here is the first installment of my list of places where I've breastfed my baby outside of our little home.

- Russ and Tonya's couch - in the middle of their daughter's first birthday party
- The back row of the dollar theatre
- David's Bridal
- The basement of the birthing center
- The parking lot of the dog park
- On our street, walking toward BSU
- In the backseat near the corner of Ustick and Star Road
- The outdoor patio of Fanci Freeze
- The parking lot of Lowell Scott Middle School

Dang it!

2009-04-26T15:17:00.001-07:00

This would have been so much easier!

She's Legal!

2009-04-22T10:21:00.000-07:00

Eleanor received her social security card in the mail this morning, making her a real, certified, legal, bonafide American citizen...which is nice, since evidently her father is suddenly part Canadian.

Birth

2009-04-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

I think Kelly did a great job of summing up Eleanor's birth in the last post, but people have been asking for my story so I figured I'd fill in some of my own perspective details in a new post.

I woke up last Monday around two in the morning, pretty sure what woke me up was a contraction. I'd been having Braxton Hicks contractions off and on for about a week, but what I felt then was different. I stayed in bed until around three, feeling two more contractions, before I came downstairs. I couldn't get back to sleep right away and I wanted to make sure that these really were labor contractions so that I knew if Kelly and I needed to call into work or not. I ate and played on the computer until about four, when I was certain that these 25-minute-apart pains were the real deal. Then I went upstairs and woke Kelly up. We timed three more of them and around five, we called in to work before going back to sleep.

We woke up again around nine and timed a few more contractions - this time they were about 15 minutes apart, but still nothing to be concerned about. I could easily walk through my contractions, talk through them, even joke through them. We ate breakfast and discussed our plans for a leisurely morning, knowing that this beginning portion of labor can take hours and hours. Kelly called our birthing center and talked to Jill, letting her know where I was in the process and telling her our plan to go play scrabble at a downtown coffee shop. She said we were doing everything perfectly and to just call back later that afternoon to check in.

Before leaving, we both wanted a shower so, since I take longer to get ready, I went first. While Kelly was in the shower then, I got dressed. Or, rather, I started to. All I got on was my underwear before my water broke. My response was a surprised, "Oh! Oh my! Oh...kay," as I made my way to sit on the toilet. Kelly turned off the water and asked if I was OK and I told him my water broke. He asked if I was sure and I told him "That wasn't pee!" So he finished up his shower and while I got back in to rinse off my legs, he called the birthing center again.

Paula showed up at about a quarter to noon and Shelley came about twenty minutes later. In that time, I had two more gushes of broken water and my contractions went from easy and ten minutes apart to very serious and about two minutes apart, giving me no time to adjust to the change.

I don't remember much from the rest of the afternoon because it all seemed to go so quickly, even though in the moment it felt like it was taking forever. Right at the beginning, I know, I threw up - I think because I didn't have time to adjust to the immediacy of the pain. And after that, the smell of food made me nauseous again. That meant that I was hungry and a little dehydrated when I was done, but it meant also that Kelly was starving because even the smell of food on his breath was too much for me. At one point, I remember being aware of a light, sweet floral scent in the room - what I later came to realize was a candle burning. Kelly was surprised that I didn't know what it was, but I really did have other things on my mind. At another point in the evening (I have no idea now if this was before or after the candle), Kelly and I went into the bathroom and I looked at the clock and saw that it was six. I remember wondering how that was even possible because the last time I was aware of the time, it had been noon when everything was getting started.

In addition to throwing up, I think that lack of transition from easy to difficult contractions made it difficult to think in the beginning. I remember Paula and Shelley asking me some questions and not having any answers for them. I kept telling them "I don't know" and "I don't know what to do" and they were OK with that - but then nothing was getting done because no one was deciding anything, so I told Kelly to decide and to just tell me what to do. Letting him make decisions was a decision I knew I was comfortable and confident making. After that, he sort of handled the decisions until it was all over.

The time to push was a welcome time for me. I was at a spot where contractions were incredibly painful, but the time in between was actually almost relaxing. The room was dark and I was laying comfortably next to Kelly, so when I wasn't having a contraction I could relax and almost take a micro nap. But I knew that pushing would end the contraction portion of the whole deal, so when Paula said I could start bearing down with the next few contractions, I took her up on it.

After a while of that, we started the real pushing part of the night - a period of about two hours, I think. I remember feeling a little defeated about the business of pushing Eleanor's head past my pelvic bone. I felt like it was an arduous task that had little progress with each push. I even apologized to everyone for taking so long. I think part of what made it difficult for me was not being able to feel any progress inside. It just felt like I was pushing for no reason. At one point I remember saying that I needed a break, that I wanted a nap so I could keep going. I think they kind of laughed and Paula told me that just wasn't an option at that point. A contraction or two later, she pinched her index finger at the first joint and said, "Angela, that's all you have left to see your baby. She's right there!" At that point, I knew I could do it. I figured that I had done a whole lot more than that without a nap, so that little bit should be easy.

Finally, Paula told me to reach down and feel Eleanor's head - and there it was, ready to come out! It was one or two contractions later that I could tell from the excitement in everyone's voices that I was almost there and, even though I was exhausted and don't know how I did it, I gave one more push. And that's when Eleanor's head came out. I was surprised because, like I said, I couldn't feel anything until this point; but all of a sudden, I definitely felt something. I could hear Kelly, who was behind me through the pushing, holding me, fanning me, and letting me bear down and pull against him through each contraction, almost start crying. Paula told me to relax for a moment while she positioned Eleanor's shoulders and then with two little pushes, her top shoulder was out. The plan had been for me to reach down and pull her out after her shoulders were through, but after one more little push, not only did her bottom shoulder come out, but so did the rest of her body. Paula immediately picked her up and put her on my chest, belly to belly. Eleanor planted her hands on me, lifted her head and stared right at my face, then right at Kelly's, as though she needed a look at the source of these voices she's been hearing for so long, before putting her head back down and nuzzling me for warmth.

Kelly and I were awestruck by this little girl already, talking to her, touching her, welcoming her to the world. And at that moment I became aware of my surroundings, the pain went away, and I started to feel like myself again. I would definitely say that the process was tiring and painful and at times difficult and just plain daunting. But my overall impression of the day is one of fullness and satisfaction. I spent the entire day bringing another life into the world and being loved and cared for by my husband.

A lot of people have asked me already what I thought of the home birth experience, if I would do it again or not. I say yes. April 6 was one of the best days of my life, pain and all, because of how connected I was able to be to my environment, to my partner, to myself and eventually to my baby. I can't imagine going through this process any other way. I have high and sincere gratitude for the friends and family who have helped me through my pregnancy and through the first ten days of being a mom, for the women at Treasure Valley Midwives who also helped me through my pregnancy and helped prepare me for the most memorable and adventurous day of my life, and for Paula and Shelley who spent twelve hours at my house making sure Eleanor came safely into the world. Most of all, though, I am grateful for Kelly, who is always there for me. I couldn't imagine having a more thoughtful, loving, patient, supportive, intuitive and forgiving partner, not just through the birthing process, but through my entire life. Finally, I thank Eleanor, just for being my baby. I wouldn't want anyone else in her place.

This is, I believe, the first-ever photo of the three of us. She's nursing for the first time and totally rocking at it!

In this picture, Shelley's weighing little Eleanor. I guess this is also how you weigh fish...?

Here's Kelly dressing Eleanor for the first time. It was also the first time he'd dressed and diapered a baby ever.

Here we are again - the first posed family picture. I think all three of us look all right after such an exhausting day!

And finally, here's Eleanor the next day, all bundled up.

Eleanor Irene is Here!!!

2009-04-07T14:10:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone, I'd like to formally announce the arrival of Eleanor Irene Hagans. At 11:05 AM on Monday the 6th of April Angela's water broke. We were planning on a longer early labor, but like any true child of ours, Eleanor had other ideas. Later that night, Angela gave birth to her at our home, at 10:07 PM. She didn't quite make the heavyweight class, but at just under 9 lbs, she wasn't a featherweight either. At 21 and 3/4 inches, she is a little tall for her age, but is still the shortest person in the house (which is saying something at our house). Her head was a 14 inches in circumference, which Angela will let you know was NOT in the plan.

The birth process was simple, beautiful and mostly calm. Angela was even able to take some micro naps between contractions. There was candle light, some very experienced and calming midwives, Angela, me and our little girl. The birth went like clockwork, even though Angela was in hard labor for about 11 hours.

We want to thank first our parents, who have been so supportive in EVERY way, and who were right on scene first thing to see the little kid. Thanks also to our families who have been so wonderful in providing emotional, physical and financial support. Thanks also to our friends, who we really view as part of our own personal village that will raise our child. And finally, thank you to our midwives who made the pregnancy and birthing process so personal, loving and safe. If you've never considered going through a midwife, you really should. They're the best.

We love you all,

Love,
The Hagans clan
Kelly, Angela, Eleanor, Radley and Lucy

Nope, not yet

2009-04-04T12:03:00.000-07:00

I've had more people ask me this week about the baby than ever before and my general answer is "Nope, not yet."

But, whereas I'm approaching impatience to meet her, I'm still doing just fine. I'm comfortable, sleeping at night, and am still enjoying being pregnant. I'm not miserable, frustrated or anything else everyone expects me to be. That said, we are trying the "home remedies" to encourage her along, knowing that even still, if she's not ready, she won't budge. At my appointment on Tuesday, Teresa said she didn't think it would be much more than a week - if I even make it to my next appointment at all - so we're hoping she's right. I cleaned out my desk some yesterday when I left school with hopes to not be there Monday, and I know Kelly's been ready to leave work for at least a week too. The house is prepped, her bed is made...all she needs to do is come meet us.

Well, I'm off to do some hiking, which really serves two purposes: to hopefully induce some laboring activities and to wear out our energetic dogs.

Still no baby

2009-04-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

Evidently I've been accused of being the most impatient/excited to have Angela go into labor. Let me clear my name...wait...no I guess I AM pretty bad at waiting. But you all don't want to hear about that. You want to know that Angela is doing fine, still going to work, still soldiering on with out any problems. All of that is true. We're in the waiting game, and though I tried not to get excited about the possibility that our little girl could be born on April Fool's day (I know, cool right!) I was really hoping it would be today. Judging by how active she has been in the womb, I'm betting we've got an enthusiastic little prankster in there!

Regardless, the baby is not here yet. When Angela goes into labor, we'll put the word out. Well... We might not put the word out until just after it's over (with a couple of very special exceptions). Frankly, we don't want a hundred people calling/texting/etc... while we've got some other things on our mind.

Wish us luck, we're hoping to hike a bit tonight to move things along and get our pups tired out.

Love you all!
Kelly

No baby yet!

2009-03-30T20:58:00.000-07:00

I went to work today and everything felt normal all day. A lot of the kids were surprised to see me, so I went over what to expect with this whole baby thing again - just that they can't expect anything certain. They seem mostly OK with that. The word of the day was "midwife" because no one knew what it meant when I told them I'm birthing at home with a midwife (another kid asked if it isn't illegal to have your baby at home rather than at the hospital). The only reason we got to talking about that is because in every class I had one kid nominate him/herself to be the one to call 911 if I should go into labor during class. I had to let them know that that wouldn't be necessary, that if I go into labor, I'll just call the office and have someone cover my class while I leave to go home. I think they all just tend to expect the overly dramatized TV/movie version of having a baby where the woman randomly starts sweating and swearing while her husband runs around frantically searching for his car keys and trying to shove the golden retriever out the sliding glass door. I told them it wasn't like that in real life, but I still don't think they believe me.

This evening, Kelly and I took the pups to the Eighth Street trails again and hiked for about 45 minutes. I had more of those easy contractions while we were there, but now that we're home and have had some dinner on the couch, they're all gone. I think Kelly's getting more impatient with the birthing wait than I am; he seems to have major plans to get me out walking every evening this week.

Monday Morning

2009-03-29T13:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a long and productive spring break, full of all those last-minute preparations...and now I'm looking at work again tomorrow morning. I am pretty sure I'll be there. I want to be there, though, because the longer I wait to start my maternity leave the less I'll have to go back to work at the end of the school year. At this point, though, it's definitely day-by-day whether or not I'll be going in - and my students, fellow teachers and administrators know that. Besides, it will be nice to go in and get things set up for my sub. If I don't, she'll be fine, but I think I would feel better having at least one more day.

I haven't noticed anything really new in the is-it-almost-time department. I can tell she's dropped again and periodically I'm having Braxton Hicks contractions, but that's it. In fact, there's one right now. But these are super easy and mild and unless I'm paying attention to them, sometimes I don't even notice them until they're almost gone. I've been having them since about week 30, but back then it was only when I was working super hard at the gym, and when I had the flu for three weeks I didn't have them at all. Lately, it's been just whenever.

I will try to update this daily, now that we're so close, and keep you updated on changes and the work situation.

I should go on a game show.

2009-03-26T07:25:00.000-07:00

I've been pretty sleepy this week - to be expected, I suppose, considering how close I am to delivering a baby - and have been able to fall asleep rather quickly lately. So I've decided that I should go on a game show. I mean, I'd have to find a game show that gives prizes for sleeping abilities - perhaps the ability to fall asleep quickly or the ability to fall asleep the most times through the day - but I think I would have a shot at winning if I could find the right show.

Yummy, delicious massage...

2009-03-24T14:06:00.000-07:00

I'm just getting home from a prenatal massage with Robyn, who left me feeling both rejuvinated and relaxed as well as happy and empowered about giving birth some day very, very soon. I'm just posting a quick note here for anyone who wants an A+ recommendation for a pregnancy masseuse in the Boise area. Feel free to pass her name on to friends. Oh, and if you've looked at massage prices and feel uneasy spending a billion dollars to lay on a table and listen to someone tell you to relax, she's far less expensive than other places I've seen because she works independently rather than through a salon and I promise, it was totally worth it. I feel fabulous after that!

Laurie's pretty amazing.

2009-03-23T20:45:00.001-07:00

About three weeks ago, we had maternity photos taken. Our friend Laurie did them and I have to say, they're pretty awesome. Just as a teaser, here's one of my favorites...

If you'd like to see more, go to Laurie's blog. If you like them, post a comment on her blog and let her know. And if you'd like to order any from her, just let her know that, too.

Questions

2009-03-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

List of the questions I get most frequently:

When are you due?

Do you know what you're having?

Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl? (Similar to the last one, but a little more specific - the last one could be answered flippantly, for instance, "Yes, a baby.")

Do you have any names picked out?

Is this your first one?

List of questions that I get and are funny to me that people think to ask them over and over:

How are you feeling? (This one makes me feel like people are trying to be ultra-sensitive, as though they expect a negative response, but feel somehow obligated to ask anyway.)

Are you excited? (Duh.)

Can you feel her move? (I don't just get this one from kids, either.)

Are you so sick of strangers coming up and rubbing your belly? (I think this one is funny because so many people expect that people do this, even though they think it's rude. And because I've never had a stranger come up and rub my belly.)

List of questions that I've gotten and think are rude:

How much weight have you gained? (From a young cashier at a mall store.)

Aren't you just so miserable at this point? (From plenty of people at work - even on days when I feel great.)

You're so big! Are you due soon? (Is that supposed to be a nice way of telling me you think I'm huge?)

Are you seriously still here? (In response to the fact that I still go to work every day. Good lord, I'm pregnant, not dying.)

List of student questions that make me smile:

Do you know like how the - what time - is the baby going to be, like, alive - I mean like if she'll be - out - um, born? (From a seventh grader today.)

Can you do anything fun? (He said he imagined I just sat at home on the couch all night, unable to move.)

When is her birthday? (To which I responded, "I don't know. It hasn't happened yet.")

Will you die from the pain? (Referring to childbirth.)

What do you mean you're having the baby at home?!?

Call your husband? What's he going to do? (In response to me telling the student he doesn't need to worry about calling 911 if I go into labor at school, that I'll just call Kelly and he'll come get me.)

Are you making that up? (In response to me telling the student what a midwife is.)

List of annoying questions - many of which I've also gotten a few times:

When are you due? "In a few weeks. No, I mean, like when's your due date? "The first week of April." Well, I mean, what day?

Don't you think you're making a huge mistake not going through the hospital for your birth?

Have you signed up for free samples from Similac yet?

Did you know more babies die when they're born at home rather than the hospital? (Which, by the way, is not true.)

Aren't you worried about your dogs biting the baby? (No, because we don't plan to have our dogs babysit the baby. We'll be paying attention!)

Baby Clothes

2009-03-03T19:48:00.000-08:00

I just went through everything we've received for Eleanor, opened packages, cut off tags and sorted things into piles. I've gained some insight, I believe, into the world of baby clothes after this expedition. Here's some of what I now know.

1. Nothing is packaged to be environmentally friendly. Nothing. From any company. If there's a way to add a cardboard piece or attach it to something with a little piece of tape or plastic binding, they'll do it.
2. Old Navy has evidently had some problems with their pajamas lighting on fire. This tag was pinned to both pj sets I now own: "For child's safety, garment should fit snugly. This garment is not flame resistant. Loose-fitting garment is more likely to catch fire." I guess I shouldn't let the baby smoke while she's wearing those outfits...
3. Socks and bibs are the most popular clothing gift items.
4. People think that baby girls need to dress in lots and lots of pink. But only after they're three months old. My 0-3 month-old pile hardly has any pink in it, but pink is definitely the predominate color in the 3-6 month-old pile, the 6-9 month old pile, and the "big girl" pile.

I recorded everything I have because, since this is my first go at things, I'm not sure if I have everything I need or if I'm severely overlooking a basic need. So, all you experienced moms out there, if you wouldn't mind reading over my list and leaving me a comment about what you think, I would greatly appreciate it. I counted "outfits" as things that match one another as a set; "onesies" could obviously double as complete outfits or be mixed/matched with pieces from the complete outfits; "pajamas" are pieces that obviously look like sleep items. I also gave you the months she'll be these ages (roughly) in case that helps.

Miscellaneous:

7 hats
8 receiving blankets
billions of socks (it's true - I counted them)
16 washcloths
5 towels with the cute corner head piece
2 full crib bedding sets
17 bibs

0-3 months: April, May, June (this is the category I'm most immediately concerned with, since it comes first)

7 complete outfits
29 onesies
9 pajamas

3-6 months: June, July, August, September

11 complete outfits
17 onesies
4 pajamas

6-9 months: September, October, November, December (I'm least concerned about this grouping since it's still six months out, but I thought I'd include it anyway)

7 complete outfits
6 onesies
5 pajamas

I also have a collection of "big girl" clothes that start after nine months and go for another year, but that collection is small and sooooo not on my radar right now. I figure I can worry about stocking that age group some time after she's actually born.

Eleanor Irene

2009-02-23T17:53:00.000-08:00

So many of you have requested the story of how we chose our baby's name, so I figured I'd oblige. I agree, names are important and the story of names can be very interesting.

In Germany our first few days, we stayed with Jurgen and Irene - family on Kelly's side. A week or so later, in the middle of our trip, we were staying in a small town in the middle of the Black Forest in southwestern Germany called Staufen, enjoying beer on the patio of our gasthaus overlooking a centuries-old vineyard and ruined ancient castle during sunset, recounting stories of our trip thus far. During our reminiscing, we talked about our first few days with Jurgen and Irene - how nice they were, how hospitable they were, how friendly, how loving, how warm, how easy-going - and how it seemed to us that they went totally out of their way to accommodate their out-of-town guests' every need, but that they never actually appeared to be bothered by us in the slightest. Then I recalled that in my childhood I knew a woman named Irene - my grandparents' friend - who was very similar. She was warm and cheerful and inviting and encouraging and never made me feel like I was a problem to her, even with my childish needs, wants, stories and ideas. So Kelly and I decided there, on this gorgeous German patio, that when we had a daughter, she would also have the name Irene - our way of passing on to her these lively and lovely traits of women we know who, each in their own way, touched us and made our lives better.

As we continued with the naming process months later, after finding out we were expecting and after finding out we were expecting a girl, we each made a list of names we liked independent of each other. Then we compared lists and made note of the names we both liked and made fun of the names on each others' lists we didn't like. From that, we came up with a joint list - and a pretty sizeable one at that. So, we still had to narrow it down. I wanted a strong-sounding name, preferably one that didn't end in the "a" or "e" sound like so many other girls' names (Alaina, Samantha, Amanda, Molly, Hallie, Maddie). Kelly was really pulling for Irish names, but really couldn't sell me on any. Finally, we came up with four or five favorites that we started trying out randomly in sentences whenever we were talking about the baby. Eventually, two names surfaced as favorites. After a few more weeks, we both settled on Eleanor. It just seemed to fit us best and seemed to flow best when we used it in conversation. And I should add too that long before this we'd decided that Irene sounded better as a middle name than a first name when paired with our last name.

And so, after agreeing on spelling, we decided on Eleanor Irene. We're pretty excited about our decision and are getting more used to it all the time. We've kicked around some boy names too, just in case, but it's been a pretty half-hearted endeavor. I think it's safe to say we're in love with our little girl already.

Boise Shower

2009-02-22T10:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we had our Boise baby shower, hosted by Tiffany and Bjorn, and put on by Jen, Kathy and Tiffany all in conjunction. It was AWESOME! To give the out of towners an idea of how the place looked, I'll walk you through the house as if you were coming yourself (this is my first shower, so if this is all standard, forgive me):

As you drove up to the place, there were several large signs with balloons that not only told you where to park, but directed you to the house itself (Thanks Janessa and Carstensen clan for helping out!). As folks walked in, there was a little box to write a note to Eleanor for her 2nd birthday. I thought that was a really fun idea, since we will be able to share with our daughter how loved she was before she was even born! Then you walk into TnB's pad, through the living room set up for lots and lots of folks to sit in, into the kitchen... Or should I say, the food lover's paradise! There was so much food, and it was all SO good, that I think I may have to start crashing baby showers. We took a bunch home, and that may just be the best gift we got (at least, that's what my tummy tells me). Speaking of gifts, I won't go into all of them, but we were awed by the fact that our friends are ALL good at gift giving. Not once did we have to fake smile and murmer about taking things back. Give yourselves a hand! Oh, and one last thing about gifts. Thank you to Tricia for finishing the quilts that Angela's Grandma Betty started, but was unable to finish. That we will be able to have a physical token of her love that we can share with Eleanor means more than I can say. That Betty was so sick, and yet would work on this gift regardless of the pain, and that you would then finish that gift for her means a very great deal to both of us, and especially to Angela. Thank you.

This was a co-ed shower, and all of our local friends and relatives were there to make it a very special day. It isn't often that we get to gather together with folks from so many different areas of our lives. When I look back on our wedding, what made it so overwhelmingly meaningful (beyond binding Angela and I together) was the fact that we were surrounded by so much love and well wishing from people from every circle and corner in our world. This shower was very much like that. With the exception of my family (who live too far away, and so threw us another super cool shower of their own! We really lucked out on having great families), we were surrounded by almost everyone who loves us. It was humbling to have this new chapter in our lives be welcomed in with love by our own personal community. I have to admit that I teared up a little when trying to thank everyone for coming and for all their kindness. Thank you Jen. Thank you Kathy. Thank you Tiffany (and Bjorn too). You three not only put on a very successful event, but you've given us an experience that will forever shine with love and fondess in our hearts. What better way to bring a life into this world can there be?

I got this from a friend.

2009-02-16T11:02:00.000-08:00

And it's pretty right on, I think.

Except I very rarely feel the urge to kill anyone. And rather than pajamas, I just wish I could wear jeans and tee shirts all the time - and mostly the reason I can't is because I have a job where that doesn't fly.

We've officially chosen a name!

2009-02-14T11:18:00.001-08:00

We have been talking about baby names for a while now, trying out different names in context and trying to narrow our lists down to a few choices. For a few weeks, we've had in mind our top two favorites. But we're now decided.

Last night, we played Scrabble at Flying M, a local, downtown coffee shop. After a difficult game full of unfriendly letter picks, we played with the tiles to discuss which name and which spelling of that name we liked best.

Kelly took a picture of the winner. And now we know her name.

Baby Hopes

2009-02-10T20:16:00.000-08:00

I hope, for my sake and for my baby's sake, that she does not take after her father's ability to hurt herself. Kelly recently required a tetanus shot and a trip to the doctor's office for some antibiotics because he gouged his leg on a chain link fence just before wading into a pond filled to the brim with goose poo. We figure this is where Lucy inherited her propensity for self-injury, so maybe the gods will give us a break (pun not intended) with LBH - maybe they'll figure that two people with frequent and bizarre medical needs is enough for one family (even though one of those people isn't technically a person). I hope that LBH is able to tread carefully, recognizing her limits like her mother, balancing grace and foresight in potentially dangerous (or stupid) situations. It's been hard enough going through MRSA, finger tendon surgery and goose poo waters with my husband in one year...and parvo, sliced paws and ripped out toe nails with my dog. I would rather avoid all that with my child.

Rubbing, iron, birth plan

2009-02-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

I've been asked a lot lately about strangers coming up and touching my belly unsolicited - you know, if it happens and how I handle it. Well, it doesn't happen. There hasn't been a single time when a stranger has come up to me and molested my belly to get to the baby. A few of my co-workers feel me up from time to time, but I don't mind that because I know them and I know they do it because they're excited and we talk about baby stuff outside of them putting their hands on me anyway. But zero strangers, which I like. I think I must give off a "don't touch me" vibe or something.

My iron supplements continue to be a good time. It's just a liquid I have to swallow twice a day, but it sort of tastes like I'm swallowing metal, which I guess I am, sort of. The problem is, though, that I can't take it, or really consume any iron that I want to "count" with any sort of dairy because calcium blocks iron absorption. BUT, I still have to get an adequate amount of calcium. So I try to eat an iron snack and then an hour later a calcium snack and then an hour later an iron snack and an hour after that another calcium snack...and the pattern continues. My midwife wants me to consume more red meat for the iron content, but I don't prefer red meat so that makes it tough to follow through on that request. I used to eat red meat once every three months or so...now I try to get it three times a week - and every time, of course, without any dairy. So it isn't like I can even have something fun, like a cheese burger. I have to have a regular burger and watch everyone else cover their burgers in cheese. I just keep reminding myself that Baby needs iron to be big and strong and healthy and having more of it myself will make delivery and post-delivery healing that much easier. Plus, it isn't even that my iron is dangerously low; Teresa said it's at 31 and they'd like to see me around 33 or 34. So it's not dangerous, but it is low enough that they're encouraging gross things like metal shots and steak for every meal.

And Kelly and I have decided for sure that we're switching our birth plan a bit. Rather than delivering in the birthing center, we're going to deliver at home. We've watched a lot of videos and talked to a lot of women about home births and we're really excited about it. We think it will be a good fit for us. Home is just a more comfortable place in general and everything we've read and heard has said that birth is easier the more comfortable Mom is. The logistics of the whole process will be the same as if we were still going to the birthing center, except that now our midwife will come to us - and she'll bring with her all the necessary supplies, the same things that they have on hand in the birthing center. I really like the idea of not having to go anywhere, of just being comfortable doing my own thing in my own home, and not having to go anywhere afterwards, either.

The next time you get pregnant...

2009-02-03T16:44:00.000-08:00

Last night, Kelly politely complained to me that he hasn't had one full night of uninturrupted sleep in the last three months because I've either been in and out of the bathroom or unable to sleep or just having problems getting comfortable. Now, this whole time I feel like I've been doing a good job sleeping and being quiet going to the bathroom (which is only once, maybe twice a night, which is less than other pregnant women I know who are at a similar stage in their pregnancy) and I haven't felt like I've had much problems getting comfortable. Evidently, this is not how Kelly has perceived the situation. And so, after his polite complaint, I told him, "Really!?! Well, the next time you get pregnant I will make sure to be more understanding of your nighttime situation!"

And this little exchange made me glad to be married to this particular person because we were both able to laugh through it.

Also, we took pictures yesterday...so here's a couple.

Update

2009-01-30T15:27:00.000-08:00

I haven't been on the computer in the evenings much lately and since I can't access blogger at work, that means I've been unavailable to post any baby-related updates. So that's the goal this evening.

First, I've noticed the baby moving more lately - and she's moving with more intention and strength. She's still well-behaved, though, and moves away and calms down when I need her to.

Baby is also still head down, we learned at our appointment last week. Her heartbeat was in the 140s and Teresa said everything seems to be going well.

Birthing class last night focused on advocacy for yourself during your birth, especially in the instance of transfer from home or birth center to the hospital. Kelly and I agreed that we feel far more prepared for the unexpected things that may come up after this class.

We're in the market for a pediatrician - or a family practitioner. Funny...I've never shopped for one of those before...

Probably we're going to get a crib this weekend, which we're excited about. We have the space and the bedding and the growing baby, so it's about time to get a bed.

I'm still having no problems. Just trying to keep my iron and calcium up - two things that you're not supposed to mix because calcium disrupts iron absorption. But I haven't had any real problems with either, so I'm not terribly worried. And I'm still trying to eat lots of brain food - blueberries, walnuts, fish, broccoli - since her little brain is maturing at this point.

Well, that's all I can come up with for now. More later...and Kelly's said he wants to take pictures this weekend.

Home again, home again, jiggety jig

2009-01-20T15:41:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm home safe and sound from the Portland shower (pictures to come at a later date...assuming that people who took pictures email them to me). The whole weekend was a blast, full of visiting family, to walking all over downtown Portland, to practicing my awesome packing skills (sometimes, having grown up in a military family comes in handy), to talking about baby, baby, baby. My sister, I think, had a good time, too - especially when it came to the baby-centered stuff - and the shower was awesome (thanks again, Mali!).

One thing I noticed over the weekend was that LBH didn't move a whole lot - which was odd because she usually moves all the freaking time. Her favorite time to move is in the evenings, but even then she was relatively still. A few times it felt like she was adjusting to get comfy, but that was really short lived and then all movement ceased. When we came back home, though, she started right back up again - after she heard her dad's voice. Once we were around Kelly and she heard him talking, she was right back to her usual antics. In fact, while we watched a movie Sunday evening, she jumped and bounced and kicked every time he laughed. After the movie, he put his face down to my belly and spoke directly to her...and she moved her whole body to the outside of my belly, almost like she was pressing herself into him to get closer to his sound. She missed her daddy while we were away!

Angela - leaving on a jet plane

2009-01-16T12:43:00.000-08:00

Angela will be leaving this afternoon to go to Portland. Yup, it's baby shower time! Although I am very excited for her to go and to see everyone, I have to admit to a little jealousy. She gets to see my parents and all the rest of the fam, and I'll be lonely with only two pups to keep me company.

Aw, I'll be all right, and I really am excited for her.

But I'm more excited for Denisha, Angela's little sister. She's ten and has been packed for over a week. I know Angela will show her a good time, gallavanting around the city together, and talking baby stuff for 48 hours straight. That's like pure crack for Denisha. She's going to be on a high that may not stop until the birth.

I'm fairly certain I've never been to an actual baby shower (at least since I was a baby myself), and I'm hoping that she has fun. Mali has put it together, so I know she will. Who could ask for a better neice? Seriously!

As an update, birthing classes are progressing nicely, and we attended a really cool potluck at the birthing center the other day. Lots of baby fun, and everything seems to be going smooth as can be.

Anyway, for those of you who follow the blog, but won't be in Portland, wish her luck and hope she has a good time.

Orientation

2009-01-15T15:01:00.000-08:00

Last night we went to an orientation at the birthing center for parents who will be delivering at the birthing center or through home birth in the next three months or so. I felt like it was a good introduction to the things we should be keeping in mind as well as talking to the midwives about birth-specific stuff like when to call them and what to bring in (or expect them to bring to our homes), post-partum care and on and on. I learned about things I didn't expect to learn about, which I think is great because I'd hate to have to encounter some of this stuff at the last minute! (It also proved to me that just when I think I'm getting a handle on all of this, they can throw something at us like what to do with the placenta...or something else unexpected.)

More test results

2009-01-13T15:52:00.000-08:00

Jen, from the birthing center, called me today to let me know about my last two tests. My glucose came back fine - YAY! Now I don't have to do the three-hour test and that means I haven't developed gestational diabetes. Also, my iron came back OK, but a little lower than they'd like to see it at this point in my pregnancy - so, to the lower side of normal, which is where it was before when they tested it. She said they'd like it to be higher just because of the growth the baby will be going through in the coming weeks. So, I have to take a supplement, but that's no big deal. I sort of anticipated I'd have to anyway.

Rap, rap, rapping on my rib cage

2009-01-10T14:19:00.001-08:00

As of last Saturday, I started feeling LBH on my ribs - but only on the right side. So, maybe she's a right-y like her folks. Or maybe she's saving the real excitement for the left side later on. When I feel her, it really is just like a light tapping, like she's saying, "Hi, Mom! I'm here!" And when it starts to bother me or if she hits me too hard, I push down on the spot she's been hitting and she goes off to play elsewhere. I've thrilled that she's such a well-behaved child already!

LBH has also been getting hiccoughs more frequently (I've been able to feel them now for about two or three weeks). I've noticed that she gets them when I'm hungry and right after I eat. When she gets hiccoughs it's never for a long time - usually just for a minute or so. Her hiccoughs are getting more prominent, though, able to visibly bounce my belly. It's very strange to have something inside of me hiccoughing when I myself don't have hiccoughs.

Childbirth Class #1

2009-01-09T13:53:00.000-08:00

We had our first birthing class last night. We both think we're going to like the class and the instructor a lot because of her ability to not only draw on years of experience but also because her philosophy of the birthing process seems to match up with ours - plus she's realistic and involves humor in her approach. The class last night was a lot of theory, sort of, and discussion about the birthing process and our expectations of the experience. One thing we both liked was how she didn't call Dad the "coach" during labor and delivery. (She said that when she and her husband hired a ski coach for their son they looked for someone who had been skiing before and when they hired a golf coach for their other son they hired someone who had seen golf before. Many dads have never seen a birth and none of them had actually done it before themselves, so they couldn't really be called "coaches.") She calls Dad "co-creator and protector of the space." And every time, too. She never slipped up. Her reasoning on that is that Dad created half of the baby, he creates half of the marriage, he created half of the home environment and so during the birthing process he should be seen as such, as a co-creator. And as the protector of the space, it's his job to make sure Mom feels safe in her environment - safe enough to relax and do what she needs to do to have the type of birth she needs to have. Kelly said afterwards that he felt a sense of relief at not looking at the process as a "coach," that that was scaring him a little because he really doesn't know how to coach me through childbirth. But, he said that being a co-creator and protector of the space is something he feels very comfortable and confident doing.

Even just after going to this one class...and after discussing some things with our midwife and reading things in books and on line...we're thinking that our original view of "how things will go" is going to change. We think that some of our ideas were shaped by just thinking we'd do things the way other people do them or by the way other people told us we'd do them. And we don't really want to do things that way. I'm being open and ambiguous right now, and mostly on purpose, because we don't have anything established or really figured out for certain. But we're rethinking perhaps where we want to have the birth and how many people we want to alert right away and the type of experience we want it to be for us. We like knowing there are options - more than we initially came up with on our own - and we like the thought of exploring those options.

I'm really good at this, evidently.

2009-01-06T18:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at our midwife appointment, Paula showed us how we could feel LBH's head, which is in delivery position already. She said LBH should stay there for the duration of my pregnancy - that once babies arrange themselves like (especially this far along) that it's rare for them to be able to move around enough to put themselves in another position less conducive to an easy birth.

When Paula came into the room, Jen had already taken my vitals, so all Paula had to do was check my chart to see how things were going. Her response: "Wow. You're just perfect!" She said that she's very happy with the way everything is going. My weight gain is just where it should be, my heart rate is excellent, my blood pressure is still low (Jen said that the two times she's taken my blood pressure she'd thought that she had missed it - but then there it was, just lower than where she usually finds it on people) and I'm not having any major problems or difficulties - I'm sleeping fine, my heartburn is still super mild (and has actually been less of a problem lately), I'm not having much sciatic pain (and that has also lessened lately) and I haven't had any problem with headaches. So I've determined that I'm just lucky enough through genetics or whatever to be good at this pregnancy thing - because I'm really not trying to be good at it. I mean, I think it's great and I love that I am this lucky, and I hoped for this much, but it sure isn't something I planned.

Also, yesterday's appointment was my glucose test, so I had my blood drawn for that as well as to test my iron again. Last time, my iron was low-of-normal, so since then I've been trying to consume more iron. I'm hoping that my iron is OK with this test. My mom is pretty worried about my iron levels being low, but I have no symptoms of having low iron, so I remain unconcerned. I guess the test will tell.

Getting kicked in the backside

2008-12-29T11:31:00.001-08:00

I just thought I'd take a second and discuss my daughter's habit of kicking me (a habit that I hope doesn't continue into adulthood). Every night when Angela and I lay down to sleep, as I'm nodding off Angela will cuddle up behind me. Not only is it great to fall asleep all comfy-like, but I recently have been getting the added bonus of feeling LBH kicking (sometimes HARD) against my back. It feels like a popcorn popper is going off in her belly, and I love it. It's adorable, and I find myself giggling as I fall asleep.

It makes me happy, and I just thougth I'd share.

Diapers, diapers and more diapers

2008-12-29T08:08:00.000-08:00

With LBH coming in a short three months, I figure it's time to get serious about diapers. I know I do NOT want to use your standard one-use diaper like Pampers or Huggies, but I don't know much about cloth diapers. A few weeks ago, the Idaho Statesman ran an article on local cloth diaper businesses. Bingo! They did a handful of my research for me!

First, I wanted to find out how many diapers a baby will go through in a day to find out how many I'll need to buy. Maybe I'm naive, but I was honestly thinking a max of ten per day - on a bad day - would be about right. But then I found this website, and this website and this website, all which suggest far more - up to 20 diapers per day for a newborn (especially, it seems, in cloth diapers - evidently because you can tell sooner when your baby is wet). However, that number goes down as the child gets older. So, to come up with an average for the first two years, I'm going to pick 15 diapers per day.

Next, I needed to know how much 15 diapers a day would cost me for two years buying a leading brand. I picked Pampers - really for no reason other than I know it's a common, familiar, mainstream brand. From the first three pages of the website selling Pampers, I chose six boxes of diapers at random and figured out how much each individual diaper would cost. The cheapest I found was $0.20; the most expensive was $1.32. All six diaper prices averaged at $0.58 per diaper. At 15 diapers a day, that's $8.70 per day on diapers. Over two years, that comes to $6,351. Plus, and for me and Kelly this is a big plus, that means 10,950 diapers that we just threw into a landfill that took 7,227 cups of petroleum to produce and will take the next 500 years to fully decompose (I'll cite that info for you in a bit).

OK, now I look at cloth diapers. The first place I looked at in Boise is Nature's Own Diapers. This is a diaper service - they bring their customers 80 diapers per week every week and take the used diapers back to their facility for the laundering. That means I don't have to wash any diapers. Ever. Their price is $17.25 per week. At $17.25 per week, that's only $1,794 over the course of two years. That's a difference of $4,557. (Incidentally, if we use an average of 10 diapers per day over two years, Pampers still comes out at $4,234 for two years - still a savings of $2,440 over two years for cloth diapers).

In the beginning, with a newborn in cloth diapers and the baby peeing more often and me and Kelly getting used to the whole diaper-changing-pee-schedule-parenting thing, we may go through more than the originally allotted 80 diapers per week. I figure that during that time I can either wash some or use a more Earth-friendly version of disposable diapers, like the ones offered by Seventh Generation (which come out at about $.36 per diaper, or $3,942 for 15 diapers a day for two years). Or, I bet I could get more one week or have them change out my supply earlier than after one week in the beginning.

There was another option listed in the Idaho Statesman article called Monkey Bottoms, which carries far more than just diapers. On this site, they recommend starting with 36 diapers, which, they tell me, means I'll be washing diapers every two days (which sounds like a lot of work to me). In the newspaper article, the owner says it costs about $150-200 to get started with her product, and that the initial start-up will last for about six months, depending on the baby's size. So for comparison's sake, let's figure that I have to spend $200 on cloth diapers every six months for the first two years. That's only $800. However, then we have to figure in that I'm washing a load of diapers every two days. Then I have to add in cost for laundry detergent, water and the time it takes to wash that much laundry. Right now, I only wash about two to three loads per week. And sometimes even that seems overwhelming. I can't imagine multiplying that by four or five times a week.

And because I said I would cite my stats for petroleum, etc., here's a page on the benefits of using cloth diapers. And here's another one. And another one. And another one. (And while we're discussing diaper type benefits, I couldn't find any benefits to using disposable diapers on either the Pampers or the Huggies websites. I did, however, find this bland comparison site. And this one too.)

So, after reviewing all the information, it looks like Kelly and I should go by Nature's Own Diapers and ask some questions to get a better feel for the whole diapering process.

By the way, I was curious, so I did some more math. Here's what I found:

Huggies averaged at $0.36 per diaper, meaning $5.40 per day at 15 diapers each day, or $3,942 for two years.
Luv's averaged at $0.57 per diaper, meaning $8.55 per day at 15 diapers each day, or $6,241.50 for two years

The nursery is painted!

2008-12-28T19:44:00.000-08:00

The nursery got painted today! I have to say that in passive voice because if I said "We painted the nursery today," it would be a lie. Jen and Justin came over and painted with Kelly while I went to the grocery store and made everyone dinner so that I wasn't in the same room as the paint fumes. We used the good-for-the-environment, no-VOC paint, but still figured that being in the same room with the fresh scent wouldn't be condusive to creating the next Einstein.

Anyway, here's a picutre of the room as it looks now.

Due to bad lighting and the fact that we used Kelly's cell phone to take the picture, it looks all yellow/green and weird (our camera batteries are in need of recharging). In reality, it looks far more like this color:

I found this picture on line a while ago and we both liked the way the gray walls looked with the bright whites and yellows, so we tried to match it for our nursery.

I'm so excited to be working on the baby's room and to have it painted the perfect color! I feel just that much more ready to welcome her to the world! Thanks again to Jen and Justin for their awesome, awesome help today!

Twenty-Five Week Pictures

2008-12-24T07:00:00.000-08:00

I'm 26 weeks at this point, but these pictures were taken a few days ago. My computer wouldn't let me on the other day to post these, so they had to wait a few days.

Names

2008-12-21T15:09:00.001-08:00

No, we don't have anything picked out just yet. We have a few names that we like, but we also figure that since we have three months we don't need to rush anything.

I put up a basket in my classroom for name suggestions because immediately after discovering I was having a girl, my students wanted to give me name suggestions. It created quite the classroom distraction, naming this baby, so I told them to put all their ideas on paper in the basket.

Here are a few of the names they put in as jokes:

Tyler Durden
Pink
Jimi Hendrix
3.14
Steve
Pink Floyd
Axl Rose

Here are some of the serious names that we just didn't like:

Clover Zenith
Ava Madelyn
Emma
Judith
Sarah
Leah
Rebecca
Savannah
Bella Anne
Alexandria
Kaylee
Orchid

Here are a few that we saved to take into consideration:

Reese
Alice
Juliet
Lily
Josie
Elaine
Charlotte
Hope
April
Matilda

Some of the names on this last list were on the lists we've compiled on our own anyway, but some of them are new. None of these are our favorite names, which we're not revealing as of now, but once again, we still have a while to come to a decision.

Nursery

2008-12-20T11:20:00.000-08:00

We have a goal - to get a lot of work done in the nursery over winter vacation. We'd like to at least get it cleaned out of all the other stuff that's currently in thre and get it painted. The room is currently a dark pea-green color, but I don't think either of us has been a huge fan of that since we put it in there a few years ago. We're planning to repaint the walls a steely-gray color - a lighter color than what's in there now - and use lots of yellow and white as accents. We already have a swatch of the paint on the wall and we really like it so far. We're hoping to get things in there a little more organized before we start accumulating too much baby stuff. We already have a couple of big bags full of things - and with Christmas and baby showers around the corner, we know we'll be collecting a lot more in coming weeks.

Speaking of baby things, I found a new website with some fun stuff on it: Arte Bebe. I just wish there were more shops like this in Boise to buy things at rather than only shopping at the more mainstream stores. I'm a little jealous of people who live in places that have more of a thriving local artist/local shop area - especially if it's an area where the local people don't feel like they have to only make stuff that looks like it could be sold in a main-stream box store, like a lot of locals here. I plan to go to the downtown market when I'm in Portland next month and see if I can't score some cool stuff for the nursery there.

It's a girl! (Revisited...Now with pictures!)

2008-12-14T20:39:00.000-08:00

Yup, as far as we know it's still a girl...but now I have pictures to post from Thanksgiving this year when we opened the envelope and announced it to everyone!

First, we have Kelly carefully cutting open the envelope...

and opening the envelope...

then, after we'd both peeked, Kelly reached into his shirt pocket for the appropriate bubble gum cigar to toss to Denisha.

This is me, Kelly and Denisha looking at the photos.

Adding to the photo-ogling, Oma.

And Oma shows Grandma and Great Aunt Tricia.

I think there's some crying starting in this picture.

Yup, there's Grandma wiping tears.

We got just a moment to ourselves for our "It's a girl!" kiss!

And then we both sat down to text friends and family who couldn't be with us this year to tell them the big news!

Yup, I changed the look of the page. And my belly moves now.

2008-12-08T16:37:00.000-08:00

I wanted to change it up to something that was perhaps a little easier to read and was a little less bulky than the old design. If you feel like revolting, let me know. I can always change it back.

Also...Last night, we sat in bed before going to sleep watching my belly move. LBH is finally big enough and strong enough that we can see her moving! I'm more and more excited to share her movements with more people, since we can feel her all over now and not just low in my abdomen. I was hoping that people would be able to feel her at Thanksgiving, but it just didn't happen. Now, though, people can feel her all the time. My little sister was the first one other than Kelly to feel her and since then my mom has also felt her. Last night, Kelly put his head on my belly and let her kick him in the face for a while. (I guess it's better when it's his idea and not when I'm trying to get him up in the morning.) I wish I knew what it was like for other moms - how much their babies moved - because this little girl moves all the time. I can even feel her moving when I'm standing up and a lot of women have told me that they couldn't feel their babies while they were standing for a long time - longer than just 23 weeks. And whenever our midwife has tried to listen to her heartbeat it takes forever to find her because she moves so much...and she caused similar problems at our ultrasound appointmet.

Different Choices

2008-12-07T15:59:00.000-08:00

That's what I'm going to have every morning now: different choices I went through all of my clothes today, putting all of my normal-person clothes away where I won't be tempted to try them on any more and filling my closet and drawers with maternity clothes. A friend gave me a bunch of stuff when I first told everyone I was pregnant, but it's only been coming out of the box one piece at a time as I get bigger. Well, I guess there's no delaying the necessary at this point. I kept telling myself through the process how fun it will be next summer when I can pull out all these old clothes and wear them again - how it will be like I have a new wardrobe again. I don't think I'm fully convinced yet.

Fun!

2008-12-05T17:11:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to think more and more about the nursery, the farther I get from the mid-point of my pregnancy. And tonight in my reveries I decided to look on line for cool stuff and I found this wesite with all sorts of cool stuff. It's good to gather ideas.

As a bonus, while I'm sitting here on the computer, I'm actually watching my belly bounce around as LBH is tossing and turning inside of me!

Kicking Dad in the Face

2008-12-04T19:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Kelly was a pain to wake up, so I crawled up on the bed next to his head and put my belly against his face. I think he thought I was cuddling with him in some weird way until I said, "OK, LBH, kick Daddy in the face." I hoped it would work, since we can both feel her moving all over now, but she wasn't too mobile that early in the morning, I guess (maybe she's like her father in that way already).

Kelly didn't find this episode nearly as funny as I did, by the way.

It's a girl!

2008-12-01T18:17:00.000-08:00

We're spreading the word fast about this little girl of ours. It's really exciting to share the news with so many people. I sent out an email to everyone at my school and by noon I had about twenty or so congratulatory emails in response. I also wrote it on the board for students to see when they came in the room. Many of them didn't take the time to read it, thought - they just walked in the room and asked. They were excited to find out too! By sixth period, news had spread fast enough that I didn't even have to say anything. And, of course, all my students want me to name the baby after them, so I've set up a basket in my room for name suggestions. I've even collected a few already. I told the kids that I'd bring them all home and go over them with Kelly and we may or may not choose one out of the basket - but that we would only entertain serious suggestions...as in, we're not naming her "Optimus Prime" like my first period class suggested and we're not naming her "Kevin" or "Jeff" just because they (some of my students) are disappointed that she's not a boy.

In other news, I've been having more back pain lately, which is awesome. And the more back pain I have, the more my sciatic nerve hurts - but only on the left side. I'll be walking normal and all of a sudden have a horrendous pain behind my left hip toward my back that lasts for about 1.3 seconds. It's not enough to stop me, but it is definitely enough to catch my attention. I've noticed that it's worse when I go a few days without working out and my midwife suggested that I try doing more yoga. I have to admit that I've fallen off the yoga bandwagon since becoming pregnant, but not because of the pregnancy - because of night classes. However, my class is over and I start tomorrow with a new class so hopefully that will help too. Kelly and I have been joking a lot lately about how many new little body problems I have these days.

In other other news, I thought I would mention something else about our registries that I forgot to mention yesterday. We didn't register for many clothes or toys because we know a) that we'll get plenty of each because they're too hard to pass up when you're in the buying mode and b) that a lot of things that we list on the registry - especially clothes - won't be there when people go shopping. Also, we still plan to get as much as we can from freecycle or from friends who are finished using things and are looking for a good home for their things. If we're gifted anything via those sources, we'll be removing things from our registries.

And just a note for anyone who didn't know - everything gets heavier when you have to lift it higher than your shoulders. And when you lift something higher than your shoulders, it requires the use of stomach muscles. Which move to new places when you're knocked up. It's weird to pick up something that you know isn't heavy and have a hard time with it because everything is in a different place than it was a few weeks ago. I don't have a hard time carrying most things of a decent size and weight (and actually I really enjoy carrying things because it allows me to prove to myself that I'm still physically able to do normal human activities) but there are some things that are surprisingly difficult any more.

Holy cow.

2008-11-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

We set up our registries yesterday and holy cow was it exhausting. There was so much that we didn't know anything about, so thank goodness for helpful clerks and strangers in the aisles who helped us out. You'll find links to both our registries in the left-hand side bar.

One thing: we were starting to get delirious toward the end, so there's some overlap between the two and today I realized that we registered for a billion sheets. I may or may not go back and fix any of that at some point in the future. Some things are doubled up on between the two stores because we figured that some people may only shop at one or the other and if we happen to get two of the same thing it's super easy to exchange things. Plus, we'll be ecstatic about any gifts we're lucky enough to receive, regardless of where they come from.

Another thing: We tried to not pick things that were made in China as much as possible, but it was tough. From bedding to diaper bags, there was very little that didn't come from China. That said, I've done some searching on line for some diaper bags that we like a little better than the one on our registry that aren't made in China, in case anyone gets ambitious (incidentally, the one we did register for is great and we think we'll really like it - we're just trying to be a little more world-conscious).

There's the Re-Run Messenger

Or here's the Organic Caboose Organic Cotton Diaper Bag.

(This site also has a lot of fun clothes, toys, diapers and other stuff.)

There's probably a billion others out there; this is just what I found quickly. As you can see, I'm keeping in mind that Kelly will sometimes be carrying this bag thing as well...and that we'll use it with future children who may or may not turn out to be female...so we're going with easy-to-get-along-with colors and patterns.

Here's a fun site I found based out of Connecticut with some fun toys called Our Green House.

And my friend Michelle has mentioned this Etsy site to me a few times. It's an online marketplace for buying and selling all things handmade and looks pretty cool.

We do want to go with cloth diapers for LBH, and a lot of these sites as well as some of the sites I already have in the left-hand side bar have info on cloth diapers

And the judges say....

2008-11-28T18:20:00.000-08:00

It's a girl!

We opened the sealed envelope with gender photos inside yesterday before serving Thanksgiving dinner to twenty-odd ravenous friends and family members. Kelly had purchased one blue bubble gum cigar and one pink bubble gum cigar the day before and when he opened the envelope and we peeked inside, he pulled out the pink one and tossed it to Denisha, who was the only person who didn't think we were having a boy. Then we pulled out the pictures and passed them around and hugged a bunch of people who were telling us congratulations and then we ate.

I'm not going to lie - the girl business comes to us both as quite a surprise. We were convinced - as were many, many other people - that we were having a boy. I think that Kelly and I had both sort of started planning mentally for a son...and now we're shifting that thought pattern a little. We aren't changing nursery colors - we're still going for neutral, earthy colors - or theme - we still don't want anything overly cutesy or anything with kid-standard cartoon characters - but it is a little bit of a mind shift to think about the different things that come with raising a girl over what you plan for with raising a boy.

Needless to say, however, we're both super thrilled and ecstatic about everything and look forward to meeting our daughter in four months. She's a little more real to me now, knowing that she's a she and not having to refer to her as "it" any more.

And by the way, for all the people who are asking already, no, we have no names picked out just yet. She's only been a "she" to us for 24 hours now. Names will come, I'm sure, a little more down the road, once we think about it some. It's a big deal, coming up with the name for another human being. Give us time.

New Stuff

2008-11-23T21:13:00.000-08:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted a picture of me...Sorry. Here's one that Kelly took of me last weekend at twenty weeks along.

I'm definitely looking more pregnant, which is much, much nicer than looking just a little chunky. The one bonus(?) that looking pregnant has brought is that people feel even more at liberty to touch my belly. Which mostly I'm OK with because mostly it's been people I know. I don't know what I'll think when a complete stranger does it. I also think it's funny because at this point, there's nothing for people to feel except for my belly. They can't feel the baby moving around yet. I don't know...maybe it's just irresistable to people...maybe some people think the baby bump is just that cute...like a plush teddy bear at the toy store that you can't resist reaching out and squeezing a few times.

Speaking of people touching me, Kelly has actually felt LBH move. It's going to be a while until other people can feel LBH, I think, because I'm not comfortable with other people touching me that low and for that long like I am with Kelly - all the baby movement up to this point has been very, very low in my abdomen. Every once in a while I notice something a little closer to my belly button, but there's no way anyone could feel that on the outside just yet. But the other night when we went to bed I had Kelly hold my belly for a few minutes because LBH was moving around a lot. All of a sudden, there was one strong, quick movement and Kelly gasped, so I knew he'd felt it too. That's been it, but even that little bit was pretty cool!

Beautimus!

2008-11-20T21:03:00.000-08:00

It's only one of the many that were taken, but it's one of my favorite. This is LBH's profile!

I've already decided that LBH is going to be photogenic like me, and so far it looks like I'm right. Now LBH just needs to have naturally straight teeth like Kelly and the other part of my decision will be fulfilled!

Quickening

2008-11-16T16:46:00.000-08:00

I don't know why early fetal movement is called "quickening," but it is. And for me, that quickening is quickening. Movement is getting stronger and I can feel it more often and in more positions; I used to only feel it if I was sitting, but now I can feel it laying and sometimes standing, too.

The other day, LBH was going nuts in there so Kelly wanted to see if he could feel it yet on the outside. What I've read on line says that people should be able to feel the baby on the outside two to four weeks after the mother feels it on the inside, and yesterday marked two weeks that I've been able to feel movement. However, as soon as Kelly put his hand on my belly, all the movement stopped. Not to be outsmarted by a fetus, Kelly left his hand there for a good five minutes, when I felt a strong and powerful movement (Maybe LBH didn't like the extra pressure Dad was putting on his/her home environment?). I gasped and asked Kelly if he felt that too. He looked at me sadly and said, "No...Should I have?" I felt sorry for his little puppy face and reassured him that he'd be able to feel it soon.

I'm hoping we can feel LBH on the outside before Thanksgiving so the whole family can share that part of the fun with us!

WOW!

2008-11-13T17:44:00.000-08:00

We had our ultrasound appointment today. One word: Wow.

The moment she put the device thingie on my belly we saw baby: an obvious head, eye holes, chest with beating heart, arms and legs. It was fast, but there it was. She took a bunch of measurements and pointed out body parts to us and answered all of our questions of "What's that?!?" When it came time for the sex check she let us know when to look away (and even though it was hard, we did it) and when we could look again. She also took LBH's heart rate: 144 beats per minute. All in all, everything was perfect and healthy and just as it should be. She said LBH weighs about 15 ounces right now and said I'm a little bigger than the calendar says I should be by about a week. But she also said that's not enough to change a due date or anything, that that growth could level out later on.

Kelly and I both think we have the most amazing and wonderful and beautiful baby to ever be photographed in black and white dots. And, speaking of the b/w photos, Kelly will scan them soon and we'll put some of them up here for your viewing pleasure.

Seared Tongue

2008-11-07T15:27:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention something on here that happened a few weeks ago.

When I started this pregnancy, I didn't really want sweet things. They just didn't taste that good to me all of a sudden - at least, not as good as they used to.

And then a few weeks ago I became completely unable to eat sweet things. I found that anything sweet seared my tongue - just burned the taste buds right off and left me with sore spots. Weird.

That lasted about two weeks. I'm OK now and am perfectly able to consume sweet things again without hurting myself.

I felt LBH!

2008-11-02T11:35:00.000-08:00

Last night, sitting on the couch at Trina and Clifford's house knitting, I felt this little baby of ours moving! It felt more like electricity deep in my abdomen than a human being poking me, but I'm sure that it was LBH! I told Kelly and he kissed my belly and we both teared up a little...And then I sat there just feeling the awesomeness for a while, afraid to move my belly at all because I didn't want it to go away. I felt it again this morning when I woke up, too. It's so great to know that our little LBH is big enough and healthy enough finally that I notice now! Yay!

Is it possible...

2008-10-30T19:14:00.000-07:00

for my belly to double in one day? Because I'm almost positive that that's what happened today. I think I gained three pounds on my belly just since breakfast. My bathroom scales disagre with me, but I'm not so sure that they're not lying to me.

In other news...I have many students who are thrilled about LBH and ask about the baby all the time - both male and female students. One in particular, we'll call her Sara, is so excited about me being pregnant that she positively gushes when she talks to me about it. She's planning a baby shower during third quarter that will happen at school and her mom has told me that she talks about me all the time at home and looks at baby things for me whenever they go shopping (but, Mom said, she's refraining on purpose from buying me anything until she knows whether it's a boy or a girl).

Sara and the rest of my students are adorable about this baby and commenting on my belly and joking with me when they see me eating four or five times in one day. Interacting with them has made me learn to appreciate the wonder and value that we place on a brand new life. Even for a bunch of thirteen-year-olds, this is a big deal - for people who seldom think about things that don't involve themselves, who could run into you (literally) in the hallway and not even notice, who drop things and forget things and lose things every day...this is a big deal. It amazes me a little bit. In a good way.

It humbles me some, too, because they choose a baby they don't even know yet to care about when they usually stick to music, clothes and skateboarding. I wonder if LBH knows that when he/she is in middle school again it's going to be a lot more difficult to be cooler than music, clothes and skateboarding all at the same time.

Take a deeeeep breath....

2008-10-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

Enter new side effect of being pregnant: reduced lung capacity.

I thought I wouldn't encounter that until later, but this was just me making things up again, I suppose. It doesn't happen all the time - just when I scrunch up my belly somehow, like by twisting my torso or leaning over - and it's easily remedied by straightening out again. I can still work out OK and go running and such, but I can't push it as hard as I used to because I can't breathe through all the activity. It's a little odd having to pause for a second while climing a few flights of stairs or to cuddle up with Kelly only to have to straighten out and catch my breath as soon as I get comfortable. And this is definitely limiting the yoga poses I'm able to do with the rest of the class.

The heart of LBH is still beatin'... bum bum, bum bum

2008-10-20T19:09:00.000-07:00

So, the title there was meant to be said aloud to the tune of Huey Lewis and the news "Heeart of Rock N Roll." If you don't know who Huey Lewis is, and/or hear the tune in your head... well... you're probably from the Angela school of classic rock (though technically, I'm not sure you could call 80's pop, "rock"). Regardless, he was cool in the 80's. I promise.

Dad tip: Bring Huey Lewis and the News in to the bedroom, live, to seranade your wife to sleep every nght (hey, they could use the work), while simultaneously massaging her feet and wafting her with a palm frond.

Anyway, the point is that Angela and I went in for another appointment today and heard LBH's heartbeat for the 2nd time. It was, yet again, amazing! Not only did we hear the heart, but we hit it just right to hear the heart valves clicking! Hearing aloud the beating heart of a child that is ours, that we haven't yet met is indeed an indescribably touching and profoundly moving experience. For those of you who are parents, I need not describe the gut-check joy that hits you when that little sonogram wand hits the jackpot. For those of you who aren't parents it is just one of those things that would be diminished in attempting to explain. Everyone has those kinds of moments (breeders and non breeders alike), and I have a feeling that no matter how many times I heard that soft, quick whooshing sound it would never fail to be exhilerating.

It lifts our spirits every time, and soon (in fact 4 weeks from now) we will get not only a heartbeat, but LBH's first live sattelite broadcast! Well... ok, it's not a sattelite, but it WILL be his/her first video performance (sans Huey Lewis tunes, we hope). We're going to find out the gender, but we won't do so at that appointment. In Deal-or-No-Deal style, we will have the doc put the gender info into an envelope and not open it until Thanksgiving at our house (Angela will be the beautfiul model handing the bald guy the envelope). So for those of you waiting with baited breath to find out if LBH will be our first dude or first lady, mark down thanksgiving on your calendars. Conveniently, it has likely already been marked by the nice folks at the calendar company.

Our journey continues, and though it sometimes seems fraught with gory details, tests, disagreements on names and general baby madness... days like today make it all MORE than worthwhile.

It is with an overfull heart that I write for the first time, I love my wife and child...and nothing else really matters.

Working ears!

2008-10-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

I got this bit of information in an email update today on my 17-week pregnancy:

Around this time your baby's ears pop from his head and Baby-to-be can now sense sounds. After all, he has plenty to listen to in utero! He's accustomed to the strong beating of your heart, blood rushing through your veins, and your stomach grumbling. He can also discern sounds outside the uterus, like your voice and music. Although, according to the Mayo Clinic, whether he can distinguish the sound of your voice versus other sounds is not yet clear.

Hooray! Our baby can hear our voices now!

Something else to look forward to soon...In the next couple of weeks, I should be able to feel the baby moving! I can't wait!

I found some fun stuff!

2008-10-18T17:43:00.001-07:00

Since we're coming so darn close to the mid-point on this whole pregnancy thing, Kelly and I have started thinking about things like painting the baby's room and picking out names and acquiring things we'll most likely need when the little one arrives.

We're hesitant to buy too much at this point because we aren't ready space-wise; we're moving our home office to another room in the house and using the room it's currently in for LBH, a transition that's taking a while. Plus, we're not excited about spending a billion dollars on a new crib that will only be used for a fraction of the kid's life and clothes that will only be worn for a few months, so we're trying to be smart about how we acquire things and what we choose to acquire. We know we'll receive gifts from loving friends and family members who are excited for us and we're looking at getting what we can used, like from friends who don't need things for their own babies any more or from FreeCycle.com.

That said, we also know there are some things we will probably need to purchase brand new. One thing that I've been looking at a lot in the last twelve weeks or so are baby carriers - the ones that allow you to "wear" your baby. I've decided that I think I like the Moby Wrap the best.

And I think I like it best in this color, the chocolate brown. Black would also be good (both gender-neutral colors which will come in handy if we have either a boy or girl and also will look good on either me or Kelly) and they have a special version of the wrap that is made from a neutral color of organic cotton, which would also be wonderful. I like this wrap so much because it's so versatile; you can wear your baby in 20 different positions and carry your baby from preemie size through 45 pounds (although their website says most people are only comfortable carrying their baby up to 35 pounds). The wrap comes with instructions and the instructions are also on their website. One of my favorite holds that it shows you is the kangaroo hold, which encourages skin-on-skin contact with the baby with either mom or dad, which (I've also read a lot about on a few different sites and in some books and magazines) helps with growth and development of the baby. This wrap also just looks more comfortable than the slings or backpack-looking contraptions that I see people in around town with metal parts and hinges and locks. Plus, when you're not using the wrap as a wrap, you can use it as a blanket or pillow and when it gets dirty you just throw it in the washer.

Another plan we have is that this baby will be breastfed. I have seen moms out and about recently using these fun Hooter Hiders. The website has a lot of fun baby items, but what I really like are the nursing covers. I can't decide if I like the solid, organic colors better...

or something more fun like this brown one with flowers.

I think it's like going to a good restaurant where you can just tell the server to bring you anything off the menu because you know that anything set down in front of you will be delicious. I may just need to order one with a note asking them to send me anything (except one of the overwhelmingly puke-pink ones) because I'll love whatever I get.

And finally, there are the Shrunks. I just thought these guys were fun. And, hey, if you're going to have stuffed animals around, they'd better be cool ones, right? I mean, who needs eight million teddy bears, bunnies, ducks and sheep?

This site also features some fun things to keep in mind for when the kiddo is old enough to actually fear things, like a Fear Bust'r Kit and other anti-monster devices.

Photos: 15 Weeks

2008-10-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

It's still tough to see in pictures, but when people see me in person they totally notice my little baby bump. I went through my closet last night and tucked some of my smaller shirts away into storage. Even some of my not-so-small shirts are starting to become belly shirts. Most of my pants are still OK, but some of my dress pants require a rubber band to fasten them. In general pregnancy land, everything is going well!

Test Results

2008-10-06T16:15:00.000-07:00

I'd forgotten that I hadn't posted my test results here yet, so I thought I'd go ahead and do that.

Well, the syphilis test came back negative, which wasn't at all a surprise.

The UTI test also came back negative, which I had also anticipated.

I tested positive for Hepatitis B antibodies, which I had guessed would be the case because I was vaccinated for Hep B just a few years ago.

I tested negative for rubella antibodies, which actually was a surprise. I have received an MMR (measles/mumps/rubella) since turning 20, but my midwife said that rubella sticks around longer in some people than in others. She also said this isn't anything to worry about unless there's an outbreak in Boise, but that after I have LBH I should get vaccinated again.

And my iron came back "just low of normal," she said. She suggested that I start eating more red meat and other iron-rich foods or, if I start feeling more tired, that I start taking an iron supplement. I think I'll try to get all the iron I can from my food, thank you. So, I guess that with my protein, calcium and now iron dietary needs, I should live off of steak and milk for the next six months. Check. When I told Kelly the news he said that that explains my recent desires for "man food." I've been wanting a lot of heavy, meaty options for meals lately. I guess my body knows an iron deficiency when it sees one!

Baby for President

2008-10-02T20:33:00.001-07:00

I saw these birth announcements and couldn't help myself. I haven't bought them yet, but some day I might. :-)

If you want your own "future president" birth announcements, you can find them at Baby's Here.

Weight, weight, don't tell me.

2008-09-27T11:06:00.000-07:00

So, remember how I was excited to have gained my first pregnancy pound? I lost it. Plus some.

I asked Paula, the midwife we saw last week (they rotate us through the three midwives at the birthing center so that they all get to know us and us them), about it because I've been eating like a horse lately and haven't been doing any crazy Richard Simmons-like workouts at the gym - you know, things that would warrant weight loss at the beginning of my second trimester, the time when most women have started gaining something. She said not to worry, that everyone is different and that since LBH's heartbeat is so strong and my uterus is growing the right amount and is in the right position then everything else is fine. She said weight really is just a byproduct of being pregnant and doesn't dictate whether or not the baby is healthy (unless, of course, there's extreme weight loss or gain, but that's a medical concern anyway). With a smile, though, she did promise that the weight would come eventually and hang around for a while. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind about that one!

In other, vaguely related news, my appetite has returned to mostly normal. For about three weeks, I was hungry all the freakin' time. I know it was because LBH was going through a major growth spurt, but it still caught me a little off guard because in general I don't eat all that much. The increase in appetite never encouraged me to eat more in one sitting (I was never the pregnant woman grazing the buffet table for hours and hours) but did encourage me to eat more frequently. I got used to it easily and aptly planned for eating breakfast before leaving home and then again after third period, eating one small lunch during fifth period and another during seventh, eating a snack after school, eating dinner and then following it up with another snack before bed. But yesterday I didn't even eat my second lunch or my after school snack. I just didn't need it. It's nice not to feel like I should strap a feed bag around my neck...although I'm sure this, too, will change in a couple weeks (or sooner).

Sometimes I look at my belly in the mirror and exclaim "Oh my gosh! Just look at my belly!" I think that at this point the only people who can tell that I look at all different are me and people who are close to me. To everyone else, I probably look like a totally normal girl with a bit of a belly. But when I make exclamations about my expanding body, it's not because I think I look fat; it's because I'm so amazed at what all is happening right beneath my skin. Sometimes when I say "Holy cow! Look at that!" as I pull up my shirt and run my hand across my abdomen, Kelly follows it up immediately with the standard good husband line, "You look great!" So I have to explain: "I know!" Because there's this amazing little life growing in me and that's crazy cool. I really like being pregnant so far and I feel very fortunate to be able to go through this whole process.

One hundred sixty-four

2008-09-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

We had another appointment today. It was the usual: "How are you feeling?" "Do you have any questions?" "Here, sign this paper." I peed in a cup (and all over my hand, but that wasn't technically part of the test) to check for things like hCG count and an asymptomatic urinary tract infection. Then she drew my blood to test for things like blood type (I know already I'm B+), syphilis (a state requirement), and anemia (which was a problem, I've been told, for my mom and her sister, but so far I've been fine). She offered to add on there an HIV (and other crazy disorders) screen, but we declined. I told her it had been long enough since my intravenous drug use days in dark, dark alleyways that I wasn't concerned any more. (It's a good thing she has a sense of humor because I said that without thinking that she doesn't know me well enough to know that I meant that entirely in jest.)

Then (cue hero-reaches-the-pinnacle-of-the-movie music), she pulled out a little white machine and a bottle of cold blue goo. I wiggled my pants down a smidge and she applied the cold blue goo to my belly with her Star Trek-esque device. She made a few slow passes across my lower abdomen, picking up my heartbeat a few times, but nothing close to a baby sound. Kelly and I were just starting to get worried that LBH wouldn't cooperate or, worse, that there was nothing to hear any more, when she moved the chess piece-sized gameboy lower toward my pubic bone. Then, clear as day, she picked up a quick, strong, definite wooshing sound. I already knew that was it - and probably Kelly did too - but it didn't hit me until she said: "There it is," and her voice smiled.

It was so cool, I laughed a little in amazement. My little tummy vibrations moved either her device or LBH and she had to search again, but this time, knowing LBH was so low, she picked up the magical little noise again quickly. I think Kelly and I held our breath for a few seconds, just listening. We both grew a little teary-eyed. She gave us a minute before she commented on how strong the heartbeat was and told us that it was beating at 164 beats per minute. Then she let us listen in silence a bit more. I think I broke the silence first when I looked at Kelly and said, "It's real," which prompted us talking about how cool the whole thing was.

Eventually, she put the Doppeler away and we finished the appointment and made a date for our next appointment four weeks out. But it was there, nice and strong and loud: our baby's heart. There's no doubting it now. There's no reason left to wonder (yes, we've been so silly) if maybe we wanted it so bad that our hopeful thinking wasn't just making me have symptoms of a pregnancy that didn't actually exist. The countdown is real, the hopes are real, the dream is real.

It was the coolest, most magical, most wondrous noise I've ever heard in my whole life. I don't worry about being worried or scared or full of concern any more. Now, I'm just excited. And now that I'm certain that everything is real - real times one-hundred-sixty-four - it's even better.

How many?

2008-09-16T19:42:00.000-07:00

So...Did anyone else notice the lowered number in the countdown above? Did anyone else notice that we have less than 200 days left?

Does that seem like a big deal to anyone else?

Because for some reason, less than 200 days seems like right around the corner all of a sudden...

The Final Week

2008-09-15T19:52:00.001-07:00

Yup, it's the final week of my first trimester already. To celebrate, I gained a pound! Well, it wasn't really to celebrate; it just sort of happened. But it's the first pound I've gained this whole pregnancy so I'm pretty excited about it. I had a student tell me today that I still don't look pregnant and that she thinks maybe I need to eat more. I told her that I already eat as much as a horse these days and that I don't think I could possibly eat more. She seemed skeptical.

I'm starting to feel a little more normal, too. Normal as in I went to the gym tonight. I think it's a combination of not being so bogged down at work every day again (teaching really is tough work!) and moving into my second trimester. I didn't exactly push myself at the gym, but then again I'm not going there to be slender and lose weight. I just want to stay in good condition so that when the time comes I can have this baby out in under twenty minutes flat. (I've told Kelly that's my goal. He insists that even I won't be able to control my labor process. I told him we'll see.) Plus, if I make a habit out of couch sitting and ice cream eating, I'll never fit into my jeans again...and my jeans are way too cute to give up.

It's a Bump!

2008-09-11T21:15:00.000-07:00

Today is my first day with a noticeable baby bump! The particular skirt I wore today had to be worn unbuttoned (more because of real discomfort than because I physically couldn't do it up) and three different women, unsolicited, commented that I was showing a beautiful little bump. It's exciting to have an outward physical sign that there's a baby growing inside of me!

I was so excited that I had Kelly take a picture of LBH tonight.

It's little, but it's there! My belly even feels different to the touch and, of course, this all looks a little different in actual clothes than it does here in the weird light and pajamas.

Angela and I

2008-09-08T14:54:00.000-07:00

Well,
I just wanted to thank all of you for reading the blog. We're getting so much feedback on this that it's a little humbling. I also wanted to take just a quick moment to let everyone know how well Angela is doing. Sometimes she can be a bit modest, so I thought I'd talk her up a bit. Like all pregnant women, she's had a river of hormones flowing where a small creek used to, and she hasn't let it effect her mood or demeanor in any real way. She may cry a bit more at a sad scene in a movie, but that's just kind of sweet. I have to admit that I was worried about how pregnancy would effect her. Angela is beautiful, intelligent, and a powerful woman who loves me better than I often deserve. My worry, however stemmed from how in tune with her body she is, and how that can manifest itself into... shall we say periodic less than pleasant moods. When she's hungry for instance, I make my #1 A+ priority getting her some grub.

But to her credit, she has taken all of this in stride.

She's all I could ask for in a wife, and I'm really looking forward to her being a wonderful mother to our children.

Heartbreak Hotel

2008-09-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

Well, we thought we would get to hear the heartbeat at our appointment two weeks ago, but as it turns out, it was too early in the pregnancy for that. So when we left that appointment we set up another appointment for two weeks out (which would be tomorrow) to go in and just listen to the heartbeat.

However, we realized today that Kelly's leaving for a two-day work trip tomorrow and will miss the appointment. Even though we've been talking about both events - our appointment and his trip - for two weeks, we never realized that they're concurrent events until this afternoon. With our work schedules and the classes Kelly's taking this semester and the fact that I work so far from downtown (where our birthing center is), we really can't reschedule this appointment until next week...but then we're just one more week out from our next-scheduled appointment. So, in short, I called today and cancelled our appointment for tomorrow and made a new appointment for two weeks from tomorrow. (We'd talked about the possibility of me going without him, but quickly got over that idea. It wouldn't be the same; and part of the magic of this is being able to go through things together.)

In other news, my appetite has picked up over the last few days. Yesterday, I went to breakfast with Patri at the Trolley House - a place in Boise that feeds you monumental-sized portions of truly yummy food. I reaized at one point that she was done with her meal - and had been done for ten minutes or so - but I was still eating mine (although I was starting to feel full). I commented on this and she said, "I know. I've been taking bets with myself to see just how many more bites you would take." It was funny, but I don't think I took many more bites after that. :-)

Growing a New Stomach

2008-09-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday I noticed that my stomach isn't as flexible as it once was. The change is subtle and doesn't inhibit much movement - just arching my back or twisting my torso a lot.

And today, a fellow teacher told me I'm starting to show and that he thinks I'll be in maternity clothes soon. I was a little shocked by this; it's been a while since someone's looked me in the face and said, "You're fat!" I'm discounting his opinion on this one because 1)I'm only 10 weeks along, 2)I still haven't gained any weight, 3)when I told students today, they all told me they couldn't tell, and 4)he's a man and, I'm convinced, men say stupid things when they don't have anything else better to comment on.

Dad Tips

2008-08-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

I am infintitely happy to be a part of LBH's (little baby Hagans) creation process. It's an amazing thing to watch Angela go through these first parts of pregnancy, and I am sure it will only get more unbelievable as we go. Being unable to carry a child myself, I try to be as involved as I can in whatever parts of the pregnancy I'm able. This is why I was initially very excited to read in the prengancy books things called "Dad Tips."

These tips usually come in the form of a text box inserted in a corner of the page, and are generally about three sentences long. When I first came across one, I thought, "Great! Something for me to be involved in!" Well, let's just say I was a bit disappointed. Each of these tips is not so much a way to get involved, as it is a way to pamper, please and generally spoil as much as humanly possible your wife. I'm not against being helpful, in fact I try as hard as possible to make life easier for Angela now that she's pregnant. But the idea that a book should be telling me to do things for my wife, whom I love and care for ALL the time, is just insulting. Here is just one example of one I recently read: "Try helping out with household tasks without being asked. This could be as simple as vacuuming, taking out the trash, or washing the dishes". How exactly does this get me involved in the pregnancy/birthing process? Sounds more like advice for a surly teenager than an adult male who's in a lasting and respectful relationship.

In case you're wondering, yes, women wrote these books.

Because these tips have been a source of frustration, I've decided to one-up them. I have come up with 5 of my own Dad Tips. I figure, if they're going to be so blatantly focused on the mom's every pleasure, why not go whole-hog?

1) Rub your wife’s feet with swedish massage oils and her favorite Arabian scented perfume. When you are done, lift her from place to place so that she doesn’t have to walk on them for at least ½ hour afterward, and when seated continuously fan her with a palm frond. Also don't forget buy her new shoes that won't hide her freshly buffed and polished toenails (also your job, dad).

2) Build a marble monument in her honor in the front lawn. It should convey all the torture you have put her through, while at the same time conveying the courage and humility with which she has made this noble self-sacrifice. See if you can get the army color guard to come do a 21 gun salute to kickoff it’s unveiling. This monument will be important in setting a good example later, when training your children to please their mother at all costs.

3) Sell a kidney to buy your wife expensive jewelry you might not otherwise be able to afford (note: be sure to REFRAIN from complaining about missing kidney...or anything else for that matter).

4) When your wife has morning sickness, be sure to provide her with water, mouthwash, and other items to freshen up immediately (don't forget to carry her from the bathroom if you are still in the foot massage 1/2 hour window). When she is done and has left the bathroom, induce vomiting yourself. Be sure to vomit at least as long as your wife did, and after you are done eat some dirt to ensure you continue to stay as nauseous as your wife. Better yet, you should be sicker than she is whenever possible because your sickness is voluntary, and hers is all your fault anyway.

5) Create an Altar of Awesomeness dedicated to your wife and take out a full page ewspaper ad that extolls her virtues. This ad should be in color, have pre-pregnancy pictures of your wife, and should be certain to note all of her wonderful qualities. It should also note that she has no faults despite the fact that she lives with such a flawed and degenerate person such as you. Her resiliency in dealing with you is of utmost importance in this ad. Frame this ad when done, and present it at the altar of awesomeness you have created for your wife. Optional: Sacrifice two live bulls, a goat and several chickens in her honor.

No washing machine noises tonight...

2008-08-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

We had our first prenatal visit tonight. It involved mostly paperwork and discussion - stuff about insurance, pregnancy exercises, nutrition. Nothing big to report there.

We had been hoping to be able to hear the funny, washing machine-esque noises of our baby's heartbeat at tonight's visit, but I guess it's too soon. At the birthing center they don't do ultrasounds; they listen to the heartbeat via some Doppeler device. Megan, the midwife we met with today, said that it's rare for them to get a heartbeat before ten weeks and, since I'm only at nine weeks, barely, then it wouldn't really work out for us.

However, we made another appointment for two weeks from today just to go in and hear LBH's little heart beating away.

Best Dad Ever

2008-08-23T14:06:00.001-07:00

So far, Kelly is winning the Dad of the Year award. He is infinitely patient with me through getting hungry all the time, getting tired faster, and going through times when I just don't feel well, even when I can't pinpoint what exactly is wrong. He does the dishes during my week to be on dishes duty, makes me lunch, and takes breaks with me when we're out walking or riding bikes. He even kisses LBH good bye in the morning.

It makes me feel content and secure knowing that I'm so well loved and well taken care of.

Ideal Bite

2008-08-19T09:09:00.000-07:00

I get updates from Ideal Bite every day - it's a site that sends out tips on green living, recycling, things like that. This week, they're featuring tips for babies, so I thought I'd post some of the links to their tips, just because they're cool.

We try to be as conscious about our imprint on Earth as possible and find that using these tips helps and is pretty easy, too (at the very least they help make us a little more aware and steer us more in the right direction). And, as mentioned in the sidebar, we're trying to extend those Earth-conscious efforts of ours to our baby.

So, here are the tips provided to us on...
strollers
bottles
diapers
diaper products
baby food
toys
clothes
cribs
general items

Eighth Week Update

2008-08-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

Kelly took a picture of me the other day so we can start tracking my soon-to-be-growing belly. This is me at seven weeks pregnant.

No real external changes yet, but I know it won't be tooooo long before there are.

We're both signed up for weekly updates on how LBH (Little Baby lastname) is doing. Here's the one I received today from one of my favorite sites, the American Pregnancy Association.

What changes are occurring with your body?

Even though it may not look like your body has changed from the outside, many changes have occurred throughout your body. Before you were pregnant, your uterus was about the size of your fist, but it is now about the size of a grapefruit.

You may have noticed changes in your breasts. They may be more tender and sensitive than usual. This is completely normal as your body is preparing for lactation.

Another change that has occurred that you may not be aware of is that your blood volume has increased by 40 to 50 percent.

What is happening with your baby?
Everything that is present in an adult human is now present in the small embryo. The ears are continuing to form externally and internally. The bones are beginning to form, and the muscles can contract. Fingers and toes are webbed but are growing longer.

The facial features continue to mature. The tip of the nose is present and the eyelids are now more developed. The embryonic tail is also disappearing, and your baby's body is beginning to straighten out.

While your baby's gender has already been determined, the external genitals are still forming and cannot be clearly seen. The embryo is at the end of the embryonic period and begins the fetal period.

How big is your baby?
The embryo is about 1 inch long and is approximately the size of a bean.

My favorite line is this one: "Everything that is present in an adult human is now present in the small embryo." Wow! Everything is already there! It's all present and accounted for - just maturing and getting bigger and more functional and independent from this point on! It blows me away every time I think about everything that's happening right under my belly button without any conscious effort on my part!

As for me, I'm doing just fine. I've passed most of the little pregnancy problems like morning sickness or sensitivity to touch and smells. Periodically, I'll want a particular food, but I haven't had any super odd cravings or any food craving that's lasted longer than one time of having that food. Last night I decided spontaneously that spaghetti sounded really good, so that's what we're having for dinner. Kelly's immediate response to that was "You don't even like spaghetti," which is true. It used to be my favorite dinner item, but in the last five or six years I've only eaten it maybe twice and both times at other people's houses. But for some reason, it sounds good now...gentle red sauce, hamburger, mushrooms, lots of fresh-grated parmesan cheese...Yum!

Changes

2008-08-11T10:37:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm coming up on seven weeks already. A lot of what I've read is starting to say that by now I should notice this change or that change, but I haven't really noticed much. Little things here and there, I guess, but nothing major. And I haven't gained weight yet, like they say I probably have. In fact, I was lighter today than I was two days ago. The morning sickness only lasted three days (thank goodness!), but I do still get a little nauseous if I get hungry or too warm (which is awesome since it's summer and all). I feel "full" a lot - I describe it to Kelly like that - like I ate a big meal but instead of settling in my stomach it settled between my hip bones. That full feeling came and went for a couple weeks, but it's pretty much always there now, even when I'm laying down, which is new. I'm also not as tired as I used to be even just at the beginning of last week. I don't know if that's because I'm adjusting well or if it's because I got a ton of sleep this weekend. And I'm sleeping better at night already, too. I'm still not too excited about food...Even though I haven't been feeling sick, nothing sounds appetizing. Except sometimes random things sound absolutely delicious. Last night, I just wanted to eat pickles for dinner (to which my mom appropriately responded, "OK, and there's ice cream in the freezer"), and over the last couple of days cheese has been more than exciting to eat. Really, I've just wanted to snack. There's something more inherently pleasing about not sitting down to a large, committed meal. I know it's meals that I need - full of vegetables and lean protein and the like - but they just don't compare to a bowl full of dill slices or a handful of gummy bears or a few potato chips (all things I generally eat once or maybe twice out of the entire year). People have been laughing about it and teasing about weird food cravings, but I don't think that's it. I don't know what it is...other than just adjusting to the differences in my body and trying to work things out inside myself. I'm sure I'll balance out back to my more normal eating routines once I start a more normal work routine in a couple weeks (ugh).

Why couldn't it just have been bad Chinese food?

2008-08-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

Sunday evening, Kelly and I ate Chinese food. Monday morning we both woke up feeling nauseous. So, logically, we both thought it was bad Chinese food.

Yesterday, however, I woke up feeling nauseous again. And it's hit me today, too. I'm pretty sure that even bad Chinese food doesn't linger for three days. But Kelly's been sick along with me in the mornings - inexplicably so, since he hasn't had any of said Chinese food since Sunday either.

So this morning I looked up sympathy pain, which I thought was limited to weight gain and cramps, and found that it's an actual pathology called Couvade Syndrome. Evidently, men will sometimes get morning sickness, backaches, headaches, insomnia and mood swings right along with their pregnant wives. My symptoms are worse than Kelly's, but his are no less real. I guess there are a few different theories as to why this happens to men - they're in the article I linked to - and nothing is difinitive.

I'm still wishing it was just bad Chinese food, but I think that option is out. I'm not miserable in the mornings, but I am definitely uncomfortable and less able to accomplish things while nauseous. There are also different theories about morning sickness, including how long it should last. I'm hoping it's over by the time I start school in a couple of weeks.

Two Things

2008-07-30T20:44:00.001-07:00

First, the business side of things. I've fixed the comments links so that they work now. Also, the archives are as they should be.

Second, the exciting side of things. At this point, I think most people know about our baby-in-training. It's really been wonderful telling everyone about such a big thing in our lives. Everyone is full of questions when we tell them, so I thought I'd post those questions and their answers here.

Q: How long have you known?
A: At this point, we've known for about a week and a half. We waited almost a week before we started telling people.

Q: How far along are you?
A: I'm about five weeks along.

Q: When are you due?
A: April 2.

Q: How are you feeling?
A: I feel normal, actually. I've been a little more weepy than usual and I've had a few nights of light insomnia and when I'm working out hard for a long time I get tired sooner than before I was pregnant, but other than that, I feel normal. The light symptoms I have had haven't been enough that, had I not been expecting to get pregnant, they would have made me think "Huh, maybe I should take a pregnancy test." Until I missed Aunt Flo, that is.

Q: Have you thought of any names yet?
A: No. We've only known for about a week that there's a baby in there. The first step is telling people about it and getting used to the idea of not being able to fit into my cute jeans for much longer. We still have 35 weeks to consider a name.

Q: When is your first doctor's appointment?
A: We've chosen to use a midwife at a birthing center rather than the more traditional hospital route, even though we have heard good things about St. Luke's and we both really like my OB/GYN. If you're interested, I have a link to our birthing center, Treasure Valley Midwives, in the sidebar. The things that really draw us to the birthing center are their attention to personalized care and the fact that at the birthing center they practice a natural philosophy of pregnancy and delivery. But our first appointment with our midwife is August 25 and at that appointment we should be able to hear the heartbeat.

Q: Are you going to find out if you're having a boy or a girl?
A: Yes. We won't be able to do that until I'm 20 weeks along, but yes, we will find out the baby's sex.

Q: Is this a German baby?
A: Yes, this baby definitely happened in Germany.

It's Official

2008-07-29T20:58:00.000-07:00

We've started telling family and friends, so I guess it's official. Not that keeping it a secret would make it any less valid...I think it's just making it more real for us. I don't feel anything still, so my only dose of reality is the positive pregnancy test and the fact that people are all the time congratulating me. It's been very exciting being able to share our happy news with people we love because they are so very happy for us. I think we've made more women cry in the last few days than ever before, and I think that's OK. It's wonderful to feel so loved and to know that our pin head-sized baby is that loved already too.

Positive!

2008-07-20T21:49:00.000-07:00

We took a test this morning. Pregnancy test, that is. We’ve been excited and talking about it for a couple of days now and this morning our curiosity won.

Kelly sat on the floor in front of me while I did my thing with the little test strip and set it on the floor between us. He sat there holding my watch in both hands, following the second hand intently for the first minute that we hovered over the little plastic fortune teller.

That’s when we noticed a faint, blue line beginning to appear. I think we both sort of gasped.

Thirty seconds later we were sure there was a light positive sign in the circular test window. Kelly consulted the directions for the umpteenth time, which said that even a very faint or even partial plus sign meant a positive result.

By then, two minutes were up. The result was final. There was no mistaking what was there.

Kelly looked up at me with an excited, happy, almost whimsical look on his face – a look I’ve only seen on a few occasions like our wedding day and the moment he first told me he loved me. I'm sure I matched him. We laughed. We kissed. We hugged. We looked at the test strip again, then laughed, kissed and hugged more. It felt purely magical.

All day, we've taken turns saying things to each other like, "You're going to be a MOM!" or "Hey, DAD, would you hand that to me?" It's still not quite real yet, but I imagine it won't take too long to set in. I also gave Kelly my gift today - I bought pregnancy tee-shirts from 2 chix a while ago as a surprise. I'm excited to wear them together! It won't be long now!

The First First Visit

2008-01-31T21:27:00.000-08:00

Kelly and I went to my annual checkup yesterday. While we were there we talked with my doctor about going off of birth control later this year. He asked us the obligatory questions about our family histories, my eating and exercise habits, and for a look at our timeline. He concluded by saying that he thinks we should be a good genetic match, wishing us luck and saying that he hopes to see us some time this August.

We thought it would be fun to start this blog as a way to share information with our family members who couldn't be around for all the pregnancy fun. Now, we aren't wanting to get pregnant until July at the earliest, but since I'm energized to do this now I figured I would get started. The beginning few posts will be sparse, but after we have a positive test we'll update more frequently.