Dad Tips

I am infintitely happy to be a part of LBH's (little baby Hagans) creation process. It's an amazing thing to watch Angela go through these first parts of pregnancy, and I am sure it will only get more unbelievable as we go. Being unable to carry a child myself, I try to be as involved as I can in whatever parts of the pregnancy I'm able. This is why I was initially very excited to read in the prengancy books things called "Dad Tips."

These tips usually come in the form of a text box inserted in a corner of the page, and are generally about three sentences long. When I first came across one, I thought, "Great! Something for me to be involved in!" Well, let's just say I was a bit disappointed. Each of these tips is not so much a way to get involved, as it is a way to pamper, please and generally spoil as much as humanly possible your wife. I'm not against being helpful, in fact I try as hard as possible to make life easier for Angela now that she's pregnant. But the idea that a book should be telling me to do things for my wife, whom I love and care for ALL the time, is just insulting. Here is just one example of one I recently read: "Try helping out with household tasks without being asked. This could be as simple as vacuuming, taking out the trash, or washing the dishes". How exactly does this get me involved in the pregnancy/birthing process? Sounds more like advice for a surly teenager than an adult male who's in a lasting and respectful relationship.

In case you're wondering, yes, women wrote these books.

Because these tips have been a source of frustration, I've decided to one-up them. I have come up with 5 of my own Dad Tips. I figure, if they're going to be so blatantly focused on the mom's every pleasure, why not go whole-hog?

1) Rub your wife’s feet with swedish massage oils and her favorite Arabian scented perfume. When you are done, lift her from place to place so that she doesn’t have to walk on them for at least ½ hour afterward, and when seated continuously fan her with a palm frond. Also don't forget buy her new shoes that won't hide her freshly buffed and polished toenails (also your job, dad).

2) Build a marble monument in her honor in the front lawn. It should convey all the torture you have put her through, while at the same time conveying the courage and humility with which she has made this noble self-sacrifice. See if you can get the army color guard to come do a 21 gun salute to kickoff it’s unveiling. This monument will be important in setting a good example later, when training your children to please their mother at all costs.

3) Sell a kidney to buy your wife expensive jewelry you might not otherwise be able to afford (note: be sure to REFRAIN from complaining about missing kidney...or anything else for that matter).

4) When your wife has morning sickness, be sure to provide her with water, mouthwash, and other items to freshen up immediately (don't forget to carry her from the bathroom if you are still in the foot massage 1/2 hour window). When she is done and has left the bathroom, induce vomiting yourself. Be sure to vomit at least as long as your wife did, and after you are done eat some dirt to ensure you continue to stay as nauseous as your wife. Better yet, you should be sicker than she is whenever possible because your sickness is voluntary, and hers is all your fault anyway.

5) Create an Altar of Awesomeness dedicated to your wife and take out a full page ewspaper ad that extolls her virtues. This ad should be in color, have pre-pregnancy pictures of your wife, and should be certain to note all of her wonderful qualities. It should also note that she has no faults despite the fact that she lives with such a flawed and degenerate person such as you. Her resiliency in dealing with you is of utmost importance in this ad. Frame this ad when done, and present it at the altar of awesomeness you have created for your wife. Optional: Sacrifice two live bulls, a goat and several chickens in her honor.

No washing machine noises tonight...

We had our first prenatal visit tonight. It involved mostly paperwork and discussion - stuff about insurance, pregnancy exercises, nutrition. Nothing big to report there.

We had been hoping to be able to hear the funny, washing machine-esque noises of our baby's heartbeat at tonight's visit, but I guess it's too soon. At the birthing center they don't do ultrasounds; they listen to the heartbeat via some Doppeler device. Megan, the midwife we met with today, said that it's rare for them to get a heartbeat before ten weeks and, since I'm only at nine weeks, barely, then it wouldn't really work out for us.

However, we made another appointment for two weeks from today just to go in and hear LBH's little heart beating away.

Best Dad Ever

So far, Kelly is winning the Dad of the Year award. He is infinitely patient with me through getting hungry all the time, getting tired faster, and going through times when I just don't feel well, even when I can't pinpoint what exactly is wrong. He does the dishes during my week to be on dishes duty, makes me lunch, and takes breaks with me when we're out walking or riding bikes. He even kisses LBH good bye in the morning.

It makes me feel content and secure knowing that I'm so well loved and well taken care of.

Ideal Bite

I get updates from Ideal Bite every day - it's a site that sends out tips on green living, recycling, things like that. This week, they're featuring tips for babies, so I thought I'd post some of the links to their tips, just because they're cool.

We try to be as conscious about our imprint on Earth as possible and find that using these tips helps and is pretty easy, too (at the very least they help make us a little more aware and steer us more in the right direction). And, as mentioned in the sidebar, we're trying to extend those Earth-conscious efforts of ours to our baby.

So, here are the tips provided to us on...
strollers
bottles
diapers
diaper products
baby food
toys
clothes
cribs
general items

Eighth Week Update

Kelly took a picture of me the other day so we can start tracking my soon-to-be-growing belly. This is me at seven weeks pregnant.



No real external changes yet, but I know it won't be tooooo long before there are.

We're both signed up for weekly updates on how LBH (Little Baby lastname) is doing. Here's the one I received today from one of my favorite sites, the American Pregnancy Association.

What changes are occurring with your body?

Even though it may not look like your body has changed from the outside, many changes have occurred throughout your body. Before you were pregnant, your uterus was about the size of your fist, but it is now about the size of a grapefruit.

You may have noticed changes in your breasts. They may be more tender and sensitive than usual. This is completely normal as your body is preparing for lactation.

Another change that has occurred that you may not be aware of is that your blood volume has increased by 40 to 50 percent.

What is happening with your baby?
Everything that is present in an adult human is now present in the small embryo. The ears are continuing to form externally and internally. The bones are beginning to form, and the muscles can contract. Fingers and toes are webbed but are growing longer.

The facial features continue to mature. The tip of the nose is present and the eyelids are now more developed. The embryonic tail is also disappearing, and your baby's body is beginning to straighten out.

While your baby's gender has already been determined, the external genitals are still forming and cannot be clearly seen. The embryo is at the end of the embryonic period and begins the fetal period.


How big is your baby?
The embryo is about 1 inch long and is approximately the size of a bean.

My favorite line is this one: "Everything that is present in an adult human is now present in the small embryo." Wow! Everything is already there! It's all present and accounted for - just maturing and getting bigger and more functional and independent from this point on! It blows me away every time I think about everything that's happening right under my belly button without any conscious effort on my part!

As for me, I'm doing just fine. I've passed most of the little pregnancy problems like morning sickness or sensitivity to touch and smells. Periodically, I'll want a particular food, but I haven't had any super odd cravings or any food craving that's lasted longer than one time of having that food. Last night I decided spontaneously that spaghetti sounded really good, so that's what we're having for dinner. Kelly's immediate response to that was "You don't even like spaghetti," which is true. It used to be my favorite dinner item, but in the last five or six years I've only eaten it maybe twice and both times at other people's houses. But for some reason, it sounds good now...gentle red sauce, hamburger, mushrooms, lots of fresh-grated parmesan cheese...Yum!

Changes

Well, I'm coming up on seven weeks already. A lot of what I've read is starting to say that by now I should notice this change or that change, but I haven't really noticed much. Little things here and there, I guess, but nothing major. And I haven't gained weight yet, like they say I probably have. In fact, I was lighter today than I was two days ago. The morning sickness only lasted three days (thank goodness!), but I do still get a little nauseous if I get hungry or too warm (which is awesome since it's summer and all). I feel "full" a lot - I describe it to Kelly like that - like I ate a big meal but instead of settling in my stomach it settled between my hip bones. That full feeling came and went for a couple weeks, but it's pretty much always there now, even when I'm laying down, which is new. I'm also not as tired as I used to be even just at the beginning of last week. I don't know if that's because I'm adjusting well or if it's because I got a ton of sleep this weekend. And I'm sleeping better at night already, too. I'm still not too excited about food...Even though I haven't been feeling sick, nothing sounds appetizing. Except sometimes random things sound absolutely delicious. Last night, I just wanted to eat pickles for dinner (to which my mom appropriately responded, "OK, and there's ice cream in the freezer"), and over the last couple of days cheese has been more than exciting to eat. Really, I've just wanted to snack. There's something more inherently pleasing about not sitting down to a large, committed meal. I know it's meals that I need - full of vegetables and lean protein and the like - but they just don't compare to a bowl full of dill slices or a handful of gummy bears or a few potato chips (all things I generally eat once or maybe twice out of the entire year). People have been laughing about it and teasing about weird food cravings, but I don't think that's it. I don't know what it is...other than just adjusting to the differences in my body and trying to work things out inside myself. I'm sure I'll balance out back to my more normal eating routines once I start a more normal work routine in a couple weeks (ugh).

Why couldn't it just have been bad Chinese food?

Sunday evening, Kelly and I ate Chinese food. Monday morning we both woke up feeling nauseous. So, logically, we both thought it was bad Chinese food.

Yesterday, however, I woke up feeling nauseous again. And it's hit me today, too. I'm pretty sure that even bad Chinese food doesn't linger for three days. But Kelly's been sick along with me in the mornings - inexplicably so, since he hasn't had any of said Chinese food since Sunday either.

So this morning I looked up sympathy pain, which I thought was limited to weight gain and cramps, and found that it's an actual pathology called Couvade Syndrome. Evidently, men will sometimes get morning sickness, backaches, headaches, insomnia and mood swings right along with their pregnant wives. My symptoms are worse than Kelly's, but his are no less real. I guess there are a few different theories as to why this happens to men - they're in the article I linked to - and nothing is difinitive.

I'm still wishing it was just bad Chinese food, but I think that option is out. I'm not miserable in the mornings, but I am definitely uncomfortable and less able to accomplish things while nauseous. There are also different theories about morning sickness, including how long it should last. I'm hoping it's over by the time I start school in a couple of weeks.