Questions

List of the questions I get most frequently:

When are you due?

Do you know what you're having?

Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl? (Similar to the last one, but a little more specific - the last one could be answered flippantly, for instance, "Yes, a baby.")

Do you have any names picked out?

Is this your first one?

List of questions that I get and are funny to me that people think to ask them over and over:

How are you feeling? (This one makes me feel like people are trying to be ultra-sensitive, as though they expect a negative response, but feel somehow obligated to ask anyway.)

Are you excited? (Duh.)

Can you feel her move? (I don't just get this one from kids, either.)

Are you so sick of strangers coming up and rubbing your belly? (I think this one is funny because so many people expect that people do this, even though they think it's rude. And because I've never had a stranger come up and rub my belly.)

List of questions that I've gotten and think are rude:

How much weight have you gained? (From a young cashier at a mall store.)

Aren't you just so miserable at this point? (From plenty of people at work - even on days when I feel great.)

You're so big! Are you due soon? (Is that supposed to be a nice way of telling me you think I'm huge?)

Are you seriously still here? (In response to the fact that I still go to work every day. Good lord, I'm pregnant, not dying.)

List of student questions that make me smile:

Do you know like how the - what time - is the baby going to be, like, alive - I mean like if she'll be - out - um, born? (From a seventh grader today.)

Can you do anything fun? (He said he imagined I just sat at home on the couch all night, unable to move.)

When is her birthday? (To which I responded, "I don't know. It hasn't happened yet.")

Will you die from the pain? (Referring to childbirth.)

What do you mean you're having the baby at home?!?

Call your husband? What's he going to do? (In response to me telling the student he doesn't need to worry about calling 911 if I go into labor at school, that I'll just call Kelly and he'll come get me.)

Are you making that up? (In response to me telling the student what a midwife is.)

List of annoying questions - many of which I've also gotten a few times:

When are you due? "In a few weeks. No, I mean, like when's your due date? "The first week of April." Well, I mean, what day?

Don't you think you're making a huge mistake not going through the hospital for your birth?

Have you signed up for free samples from Similac yet?

Did you know more babies die when they're born at home rather than the hospital? (Which, by the way, is not true.)

Aren't you worried about your dogs biting the baby? (No, because we don't plan to have our dogs babysit the baby. We'll be paying attention!)