Yeah...It's been a while...

But I plan to do more consistent updates again. The goal is at least one weekly, like I used to when I was still pregnant.

School's out and I'm officially a stay-at-home mom for the next ten weeks or so. Those last two-and-a-half weeks back went quickly, thank goodness, because they were hard! The first day was the worst. I wore black eye liner that day to encourage me to not cry - there's just something in knowing that if you cry that you'll get black smears all over your face to act as a great deterrent. By the end of the two-and-a-half weeks it still wasn't easy, but by then I was so close to the end that it was manageable. Eleanor had excellent care givers each day I had to work who each brought her to me at lunch so I could feed her, but it was still stressful for her, too. By the end, she was refusing bottle feedings until she was too starving to resist and was fighting sleep during the days. I think it will be much better when I return in the fall - she'll be nearly five months then and will have had the whole summer to learn that I will always be there.

We had our last midwife appointment Thursday. El weighed in at 11 pounds, 8 ounces and was 23 1/2 inches long. That puts her in the ninety-seventh percentile for height and the ninetieth percentile for weight. I've already had to put up some of her 0-3 month onesies because they won't snap any more and I've pulled out some of her 3-6 month clothes in their place. She's learning how to hold things better in her hands, can hold her head up on her own pretty well, and will follow me and Kelly walking past her, even if we're on the other side of the room. When Kelly gets home and comes to say hello to her, she turns on the big smiles - she definitely knows who he is and is excited to see him. She can laugh now, too, although her laughs aren't necessarily triggered by anything specific. She is awake and alert for a good portion of the day now. That's some of my favorite time watching her because as she looks around at her surroundings it's obvious that she's thinking hard about something, like she's trying to figure out what things are and how they work. Her gaze is intelligent, almost calculating, and makes me wonder what's going on in her head.